What is the Beginning of Her Story?

Many nights before bed, my girl asks to hear the story of Mama Bear and Papa Bear and how they traveled to China to get their daughter. After a year I would have thought Arwyn would have grown tired of it. But, no, she still loves it as often as I'll tell it.


In a week and a half, our family will celebrate the one year anniversary of becoming a family of four. In celebration, I am creating photo books for the kids (one each) and one for Nathan and I which chronicles our 17 day trip through China.  I'll hand them out at dinner at a local Chinese restaurants where all of the Chinese nationals eat.


Noah's book was so simple to put together. I told the story and added pictures and cannot wait to see it come in the mail. Hmmm....


Then I began Arwyn's book. I guess the question is not so much where does her story begin. The answer to that is it began at the same place that everyone's story begins. Two people meet, join together and make a baby. Then what? Fill in the blank. Then they decide they cannot keep their daughter because she is a girl? Then they decide they cannot keep her because they have other children? Do they decide they cannot keep her because of the poverty level the live in? What about because of her special need and their knowledge that medical help is all but impossible in their city?


I believe they wanted to keep her. Call me optimistic, but our beloved was not abandoned right away. She was not a newborn when she was found which gives me hope that her parents struggled before letting her go. I don't know that to be true of course and would not put that in her anniversary book. But, as a mom, having given birth and having traveled to China and seen the women there, I cannot believe that her Mother gave her away without her own heart breaking.


My heart hurts now for her and for Arwyn. But, that still leaves me with the question of where to begin the story of her life with us. I'm sure I'll sort it out as I put the book together, skipping parts here and there until I have a clear picture of what this looks like.


We all want to know our own story. We yearn to find out about ourselves. We take self help classes and meditate and pray and ask for guidance. But, most of us have at least firm footing of our roots and our ancestry to begin. For those that do not, where do you go?


I am sure this will not be the first time that we are faced with such dilemmas as we help our little one navigate life. I just hope that we are wise enough to face these challenges and help her come through the other side.

Dear Virgina

Reprint of a letter written in 1987 by a little girl named Virginia to The New York Sun. Read it and believe.

Dear Editor—

I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, “If you see it in The Sun, it’s so.” Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

Virginia O’Hanlon

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

It's never to early for Christmas music, is it?

What a merry Christmas we will have. I can't wait!

The North Pole Limited Express

Have you ever been to the North Pole? I have. 3 times, in fact. Each year Nathan, Noah and I drive to Chatanooga and catch a train to the North Pole. This year may have been the most fun year of all. Noah is truly caught up in the magic of Santa and it is so infectious. How could anyone not believe? Our photos captured some wonderful moments, such as my two guys shaking the bells given us by Santa from his sleigh and Noah's request to Santa to view his Playmobil catalog so that he knew exactly what to deliver on Christmas Eve. What a special night that is. I will leave you with the photos of our trip to the North Pole and a little something extra under it. The something extra is a letter written in 1987 by a little girl named Virginia to The New York Sun. Read it and believe.

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Dear Editor—

I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, “If you see it in The Sun, it’s so.” Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

Virginia O’Hanlon

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

We Give Thanks

Today as Noah's class was busy working on their turkey drawings, Noah shared the verse that we say each week in our church class. If you are looking for a simple blessing and way to say thanks...here it is:

We give thanks.
We give thanks for being.
We give thanks for being here.
We give thanks for being here together.

Simple and to the point.

This is why he is the Sun.

I am thankful for all I have and all that I AM. May your day be filled with the gifts of Spirit so that you may find thanks too.

Dana

Happy Thanksgiving

Hi Folks,

I have been a little too eager to get to the Christmas music and totally forgot about my all time favorite Thanksgiving ballad - story - Alice's Restaurant by Arlo Guthrie. So, scroll down and turn it up as you stuff your turkey's and bake your pies. Happy Thanksgiving. May you find much to be thankful for. I know I have.

Christmas Music

We interrupt this blog to give you all the best in holiday music. Please pay close attention to Bruce Springsteen's rendition of "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" as it is Noah's favorite and he can definitely give old Bruce a run for his money!

Dana

Holiday Letter 2007

Friday, December 14, 2007

Happy Holidays From the Croys

Hi. I hope this morning finds you well. I sit here early this morning sipping my coffee and watching the sun rise in very cold weather. It must be freezing if not a little below and I still have to finish the outside holiday decorations sometime today.

I am nearly finished with my Christmas shopping. We have 4 gift cards and a couple of things left to buy for Noah. In fact, I was just looking online at Legos, which is one of the things he is requesting from Santa. How is your shopping going? Do you have your tree up? We do. I call it our Charlie Brown tree. It is tiny compared to what we normally have. This year, the tree farm where we have cut down a white pine each December for the last 5 or so years, did not have any big trees. The tallest they offer this year is 7 feet. I think ours was 6.5 and not nearly as fat as we like. Once we had tree inside, Nathan and I just stared at it. We would leave the room and come back hoping it was our imagination that it was so small. Nope. We debated putting it in another room of the house and going back for a pre-cut Frasier Fir. But, we decided that this is a lesson for us in consumerism. We do not have to have the biggest and best to make us happy.
So, we put on the lights and the ornaments and now we have a small but delightful tree in our living room. And, there will be less mess at the end of Christmas!

I think in light of today's weather, Noah and I will put on comfy clothes and sit in his bed and read books all day today...at least until time to leave for Budding Biologists, that is. Speaking of Biology, homeschool has proven itself to be quite challenging for our family. Actually, teaching Noah is quite easy. He is eager and wants to learn, but is quite impatient as you would expect a 5 year old to be. He wants to do everything himself but gets frustrated when he cannot master a task. The difficult part is just being with him all day every day. He normally is up between 6 and 6:30 and goes non-stop all day. We do school work and lots of outside the home activities and see lots of other children, but there is just enough lack of consistency in our schedule to pose a problem for him and I. That, coupled with the sheer number of hours we are together each week sets up a not so great dynamic. So, Nathan and I have decided that he will be attending school in January. (But, of course, being the good Cancer that I am and with my ruling body being the Moon - which changes every two and a half days - I could change my mind.)

He will attend our local Waldorf school, Linden Corner. It's a great school with a great environment. And, best of all, the Kindergarten program is only a half day, which is what I believe Kindergartners need. For those of you that remember, Noah was there before for pre-K and we left after many of us had a quarrel with the administrator and board. Since then, many changes have occurred and the school is back on track. To be honest, Nathan isn't totally on board with this, but he knows that something has to change for all of us.

Sending Noah to school definitely has presented some other challenges for us. To make this happen, we have FINALLY decided to move! We are so nervous and scared and excited. We have grown so close to our neighbors that the thought of moving makes us sick. Noah is also excited but when he thinks of not living next to his friends, he cries. No...make that wails. He has played with these kids since he was a year old. We have shared birthdays, New Years Eves, Easters and more with these folks. They have pitched in when we have had projects and proved invaluable when I have been sick and needed help with Noah. We have shared a large part of the past 6 years with many of them and moving day will be a day for mixed emotion for all of us. But, move we must.

The upside of moving is we will be MUCH closer to Nathan's office. Instead of an hour and a half commute each day, he will hopefully have a 30 minute commute each day. Instead of being 40 minutes each way from church, we will be 10 to 15. We will be closer to our playgroup - the set of children Noah has played with since birth ( in utero, actually, if you count childbirth classes!) Nashville has a host of cultural events. We are Frist members but rarely get there these days just due to the commute. We will be minutes from the Zoo....literally, as one of the neighborhoods we are looking at backs up to it! The list goes on for what we can do in Nashville and I am so excited.

We are currently looking at a couple of houses that have an acre lot. It's important to us to have some space. We need room for my vegetable garden and a swingset and lots of room for kids and dogs and cats to run. We will more than likely trade house size for lot size and convenience, but that's okay. Most of the neighborhoods we are looking at have ranch houses built in the 60's, exactly what I said I would never live in after having grown up in one. Now, I see the charm and see how family friendly they are. Most of the houses we are looking at have lots of mature trees which we love and most feature a basement which we need for storage of things like Christmas decorations. Nathan wants a work space. He worries about where we will store things like the lawn mower. He does some of our car repairs and needs plenty of room for that.

For Nathan, things are going well at work. He is now an Information Security Analyst and is busier than ever. He has traveled about 3 weeks each year. He spent a week in San Francisco and week in Atlanta with a few days in Louisville scattered in between. The amazing thing is that each of his week long trips found me at home with a 5 year old with the flu. Yes, the fever, chills, things coming out both ends, flu. We are hoping he will do more traveling in '08 and Noah and I will pick up and go with him, provided we are all well!

As for me, I have stayed busy with Noah and a few projects in the house. I have spent much time at my parents, trying to give my dad a break from his round the clock care of my mom. Many of you remember she fell last Thanksgiving and broke her hip. After a few weeks in the hospital, she stayed briefly in a nursing home for rehab. She was doing quite well there but has been going downhill since coming home. Easter weekend her oxygen caught fire and she ended up at the VUMC burn unit being treated for burns on her face and scalp. Out of all of her illnesses and problems through the years, it was probably the most traumatic for me. I cannot remember ever feeling so sad in all of my life. My sister Debbie and I were there when the Life Flight crew brought her down from the roof. I wondered that night if I would ever recover. I did. Life goes on and we move forward. Her illness is a fixture in our lives. I help when I can and when I can't, well, I can't.

We also try to see Nathan's grandmother Allene when we can. She is now in an Alzheimer's facility and no longer remembers any of us. She still has her wit and charm and spirit but her memory and other parts of her mind no longer serve her. When we move, we will be minutes from her and I know we will continue seeing her on regular basis. It is hard sometimes to see her. Seeing our grandparents and parents suffering is harder than you realize until you are there yourself. For those of you also dealing with aging family members, our hearts are with you.

The year has been good overall, but we have had trying moments throughout. My Mother's illness, setbacks in the adoption and trying to work out the answers for us, challenges overall with Noah, these have all been difficult. The good times though, outweigh the bad. We took a couple of small trips this year as opposed to a big vacation and had so much fun. You can see our trip to Dinosaur World on my homeschool blog (linked on the right of this page.) We spent lots of time with my family and Nathan's and had many adventures in homeschooling.

One of the best things that has happened in the last 12 months is Noah and I have made some good friends through homeschooling. We have met two families through the Y that we adore and try to spend time with. One has a husband that coincidentally, works with Nathan, though we found that out much later. The other family has two small boys. She walked into one of our HS classes and was holding a book that I know and have wanted to study, A Course In Miracles, and we bonded immediately. Two other families have come into our lives the past few weeks and for all of these families, I am thankful.

We have learned lots through our homeschool endeavors. I have learned a lot about myself and the best way to interact with Noah (I am still learning to put some things into practice.) Noah is learning to read and we have found that he loves math and science. He also loves history and I am thankful that I will have a kid to go fun historical places with me! Of course, Pirates are still the be thing at our house and we will be having another Pirate Christmas.

I guess that's about it. I may do a mid year update next June. I am looking forward to the new year. We have lots of changes on the horizon that I know will bring good things for our family. Just getting us off the road so much is going to be a very positive change for us. Of course, Noah and I will still be in Murfreesboro two days per week. Even with that, our commuting time will be cut by several hours each week. Yahoo!

So, I guess that's about it. We will be spending the next few weeks getting ready for the holidays. Noah and I are doing a study on the Winter Solstice and the Advent. He is really into it as this is the second year of our Advent Calendar. He's all about anything that gives him gifts. But, aren't we all?

Immediately after Christmas is his birthday on the 27th. We'll then hopefully slow down and have a quiet two weeks before he begins school and I begin the major task of getting the house ready to sell.

For now, we send you wishes of a holiday season full of Love and Mystery and Magic. I encourage you to spend some time on the Solstice reflecting on the last 12 months - where you have been - and on the next 12 months - where you are going.

Peace to you and yours this holiday season and throughout the new year.

With much love,

The Croys