Sunday, November 28, 2010

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig

Well, I did it.  I took a leap of faith and left my job.  And, I convinced my husband that it is a leap that will benefit the entire family.  Two and a half years ago we decided to enroll our son in private school with the agreement between ourselves that I would work to pay for said school.  For nearly two years that worked fine.  Then, we were blessed with our Moonflower and for the last few months we have juggled the kids, the house, volunteer work, family and ourselves.  Though the balls have been in the air, I have found the circus quite overwhelming and not so fun.  Okay, to be truthful, I'm miserable.  

We eat out more than we should, when I am not at work or shuttling to and fro work I am cleaning, I never see the kids and when I do I have zero patience for them.  I have wondered over and over why we are doing this.  I realized several months ago that someday we will look back and see that the quality of our children's education was wonderful but the quality of our lives was awful.  

I am not leaving the workforce.  Over the summer I decided to go into business for myself and am an Independent Consultant for a great direct sale company.  I want to continue to have an income and hopefully a career, but it has to be on my terms this time and on my family's terms.

I'll be writing more about this on this blog and my more grown up blog Living Harmonies, but for now, just now that you are about to be seeing lots more from me in this forum and out in the world as after next week I'll no longer be tied to someone elses idea of what my week should look like.

What are you waiting for?  What in your life needs to change today?  Look around and take a leap.

Happy Sunday.


It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

We interrupt this broadcast to bring you some of my favorite holiday music.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Noah's 1 Year Family Anniversary Book

Click here to view this photo book larger

1 Year Family Anniversary - Arwyn

Annual Event

Well folks, it's that time of the year again.  Time for the annual playing of Arlo Guthrie's rendition of a Thanksgiving Day in 1965.  It was, BTW, based on a true story.  I remember the first time I heard this.  It was at a dear friend's house.  Her father pulled it out one Thanksgiving weekend when I was 14 or 15 and I have loved it since.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Happy Thanksgiving from the Croys.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

What is the Beginning of Her Story?

Many nights before bed, my girl asks to hear the story of Mama Bear and Papa Bear and how they traveled to China to get their daughter. After a year I would have thought Arwyn would have grown tired of it. But, no, she still loves it as often as I'll tell it.

In a week and a half, our family will celebrate the one year anniversary of becoming a family of four. In celebration, I am creating photo books for the kids (one each) and one for Nathan and I which chronicles our 17 day trip through China.  I'll hand them out at dinner at a local Chinese restaurants where all of the Chinese nationals eat.

Noah's book was so simple to put together. I told the story and added pictures and cannot wait to see it come in the mail. Hmmm....

Then I began Arwyn's book. I guess the question is not so much where does her story begin. The answer to that is it began at the same place that everyone's story begins. Two people meet, join together and make a baby. Then what? Fill in the blank. Then they decide they cannot keep their daughter because she is a girl? Then they decide they cannot keep her because they have other children? Do they decide they cannot keep her because of the poverty level the live in? What about because of her special need and their knowledge that medical help is all but impossible in their city?

I believe they wanted to keep her. Call me optimistic, but our beloved was not abandoned right away. She was not a newborn when she was found which gives me hope that her parents struggled before letting her go. I don't know that to be true of course and would not put that in her anniversary book. But, as a mom, having given birth and having traveled to China and seen the women there, I cannot believe that her Mother gave her away without her own heart breaking.

My heart hurts now for her and for Arwyn. But, that still leaves me with the question of where to begin the story of her life with us. I'm sure I'll sort it out as I put the book together, skipping parts here and there until I have a clear picture of what this looks like.

We all want to know our own story. We yearn to find out about ourselves. We take self help classes and meditate and pray and ask for guidance. But, most of us have at least firm footing of our roots and our ancestry to begin. For those that do not, where do you go?

I am sure this will not be the first time that we are faced with such dilemmas as we help our little one navigate life. I just hope that we are wise enough to face these challenges and help her come through the other side.