Are You Homeless? I'm Sorry to Hear It.

Each week after play practice and violin lessons and strings ensemble the kids and I head to a nearby restaurant for a late dinner.  Last night we had the added bonus of my husband joining us.  The Moon told him we were eating sushi and he decided to join us.  With the kids and I a sushi dinner bill would typically run about $30 with drinks and a tip.  Okay.  Maybe $40.  Add the hubby and we laid down a cool $75.00 on the table.  It was a splurge for us.  Sushi usually is and we only have it three or four times a year as a family.  I don't mean to mislead you.  We eat out.  In a normal week the kids and I find ourselves in a restaurant two to three times.  When I worked full-time it was much more.  Now that I am hope full-time again I am working on getting it down to no more than two. 

After dinner as we took the long stroll back to our car a man approached us.  He walked with purpose and made an effort to step to the right to allow our family of four to pass.  That is why I was so surprised when he asked us for money.  Living in a city with a huge economic boom and an ever-increasing homeless population, I am no stranger to being asked for money.  Normally I can spot them at fifty paces.  Suddenly we were all stopped on the street and being told by a complete stranger that he was hungry.  A veteran who served six years in the military.  Showing us his military id.  As usual, Nathan and I did not know immediately what to do.  The answer from me is typically "no."  But, something was different with this man. He wasn't mean or aggressive.  OK.  Don't get mad.  So many of the people I have been approached by in Nashville have been quite aggressive.  No, I don't think most were mentally ill.  Some are.  I can think of a couple.  But, some have been quite insistent.  Not this man.

The Moon must have felt it too.  Just after Nathan handed the man a small bit of cash, she said to the Man, "Are you homeless?  I am sorry to hear that."  "Yes", he said "thank you for caring."  And then, "I hope your life gets better soon, sir".  Then we walked away.  As she began to sing whatever Disney song popped into her head at that moment the Sun said, "That's why I want to be rich Mama.  To help all the people in the world."  

As adults, we often do not know what to say or do when faced with someone in need.  But a child always knows.  And, to have a child who has known such loss in her own life who is capable of such compassion is a true gift. 

I cried the entire way home.  I cried for my children who will be faced throughout their lives with people in need and I pray they find ways to help.  I cried for the people in the world who are lacking.  We are not rich but we can splurge on occasion for something beyond potato soup or chili which is the bounty that frequently blesses our table.  I cried for myself and my own shortcomings as I  wondered if I do enough to help my fellow man.  I am crying now as I write this and think of that sweet face asking innocently, "Are you homeless?" 

As usual I do not have the answers to life but know that my children teach me in great ways each and every day.

7 Things I Learned at the Beach

 

If you follow me on Instagram, Twitter, FB, in other words, if you cannot get enough of my very regular life, you know we spent last week at the beach. And, you may know that our beloved cat of 16 years passed beyond the veil while we were gone. This year has seen great change in our lives and I spent much of last week in great introspection when I wasn't hauling things to and from the beach, jumping the waves, eating or sightseeing. Maybe you'll find something here of use or maybe you'll just get a kick out of knowing how my mind works.

It is hard to explain, unless you come from a family like the one I grew up in, how you can have laughter among the tears when the bad parts of life interfere with the good.  There are times when I feel this is one of, if not THE greatest lesson I can give my children.  We stood huddled together on the beach on Sunday night saying goodbye to our sweet kitty and through the tears came the jokes and funny remembrances.  You see, life goes on and though bad things happen, it is the joy that keeps us going.

We are blessed to live on a perfect and beautiful planet where all of our needs are met by the environment around us.  I am sometimes distressed and saddened by the greed and over consumption that grips our world and brings destruction upon that which sustains us.  Whether your go-to place is the top of a mountain or at the beach, spending a week of time in nature reminds us what is beautiful and perfect and that we must protect it at all costs.  We lived very simply last week and this week I continue to evaluate how we can do this to an even greater degree.  Maybe you will too.
 

There were nights when we were down on the beach and though I could not see well I could hear the power of the waves crashing toward me.  There is something about hearing that sound but not seeing what is coming that is very powerful and humbling.  Even more powerful is looking up at the sky while hearing those sounds and seeing more stars than can ever be counted by the naked eye.  The Universe around me is immense and I know in that moment that I am only a particle of sand that makes up the whole.

As I watching the Sun and the Moon playing on the beach and in the surf I was reminded that I have been given a gift and that this gift is fleeting in the span of this lifetime.  How do I make their childhood and my time with them count?

There are days when I feel the years creeping up on me.  I have tried to forget as much of my life or move beyond it at any rate than I can remember.  But there have been great joys as well.  There are few things like picking up a board and running into the surf that teach you to truly enjoy life and be in the moment.  I'll spare you the photos (though Nathan took some) but in them you can see the joy we all had in those moments.

 

 

When you take a break from your "real" life (isn't all life real?)...in other words, when you take a step back from your day to day life, when you step out of your routine, you see a whole other world around you there for the taking.  Life moves quickly and I am still young.  Are there dreams I want to achieve that I have not yet accomplished?   A week at the beach had me seeing each of those distant stars as dreams that I can achieve in this life and I have many!

I have no idea how large our condo was last week.  1200 square feet?  1500?  Certainly no more.  It was an old hotel that has been renovated into single owner condos.  Each one was made up of four hotel rooms that have been gutted and put back together into amazing high end units.  Throughout the week I marveled that we had few toys (none other than beach toys), a small but well appointed kitchen combined with a dining and living room and two beautiful bedrooms.  It was all piled into three rooms plus two small bathrooms.  I did take our panini maker and Nutro-Bullet.  Otherwise, there was nothing we needed that we did not have the entire week.  I know it seems like numbers 2 and 7 are the same but there are different messages in each one.  And, these messages are important enough to say again and again.

Now that we are home I am listening to the messages from last week and working to apply them to our lives each day.  Maybe one of these messages will resonate with you or maybe you'll be inspired to take your own break from the mundane to see what messages the Universe holds for you.

Anne O'Malley's - Where the Locals Eat

Today we had a long lazy day at the beach.  The weather has been spotty so we grabbed our sunny day while it lasted.  Knowing we had 7:30 tickets for the Ripley's Ghost Train we headed into town at the last minute for a bite.  We were hoping for a pub with fish and chips but when we sat down at Anne O'Malley's we realized it was sandwiches and beer.  Oh well. We are suckers for any place playing Celtic music as we are a family descended from strong Anglo stock and love anything Celtic!

The service was casual - so don't be in a hurry.   I ordered a corned beef reuben with homemade thousand island dressing.  My hubby got the turkey club and my son ordered a pastrami on white.  They were all great and quite filling.

While we ate, the pub filled up with locals as it was Thursday's trivia night.  We knew they were locals - young and old - by how they greeted one another.  The pub is perfectly located at almost across from the Fort so we were able to quickly walk down the street to Ripleys.  We could have easily strolled the Old City from there as well.

Hoping to come back to St. A's next year we will come in on a Thursday night when we have more time!


 

Goodbye Girl - When Joy and Grief Meet

Life is a series of moments of great joy, moments of great grief and moments somewhere in between. This week we are living large at a beach in northwest Florida and have the images captured forever in film to prove it.  If you are following me on Instagram or FB you'll see the Sun and the Moon playing in the sand, visiting local tourist attractions and jumping in the surf.  It is easy in the land of social media and blogs and instant communication to show only our joys.  But really, isn't that what we always show?  Our joys in life are meant to be shared.  We wear our joy on our faces and they radiate out for all to see.  The grief.  Well, the grief is held close.  Grief is an intimate emotion.  It is rarely captured in film.  It is only shared with those closest to us and even then it is difficult.  But, I would be lying if I said our week here was perfect.  You see, there is grief mingled with our joy - it is LIFE and it is true.

In 1998 we were given a black cat with a patch of white on her neck named Akasha.  The story goes that she was the runt of a large litter (13 perhaps) born on Halloween.  She belonged to friends of ours and due to their living situation they had to give away one of their cats.  As the other two were litter mates, she was chosen to go to a new home.  She was a tiny furball who hid for days behind the washing machine only coming out to eat and use the bathroom.  Nathan finally coaxed her out and she and our cocker spaniel Bailey soon became best friends.

She was a terrible cat.  She was.  I won't lie.  She was aggressive to guests and only used the litter box part of the time.  Our furniture became her scratching post no matter what tactics we used to curb her habit.   She would tease our guests and convince them she was a loving animal, rubbing against them and purring.  When they reached down to pet her she would strike.  Don't think we didn't warn them.  We did.  Repeatedly.  But, most of our visitors through the years were convinced they were different and that she really meant it with them.  Oh, she meant it all right.  She meant it when she drew blood!  And, in protest of bringing home a new "kitten" - our newborn son Noah - she ran away for a couple of weeks in what has been the coldest winter we've had in years.  It took her about 5 years before she allowed him to come near her.

Regardless of the issues, she was quite loving toward Nathan and I and became quite the "lap cat" with both of us, nestling down each night in bed between us.  We had a good 15 years with her.  And, despite the issues, they were good years.  She eventually warmed up to Noah, who like his father is an animal whisperer, and once we had Arwyn she began to rotate between all three beds at night, always able to find a warm body who welcomed her demands for love.

Two nights before leaving for the beach she told me something was wrong.  She did.  I voiced it to Nathan but then attributed it to my normal anxiety attack that I have before leaving home for a week. We drove down to our condo on Saturday and spent all of Sunday basking in the sun.  It was Sunday afternoon when the call came.  My sister found Akasha lying in our den, unable to move and much worse.  She crated her and rushed her to the emergency vet who called us quickly to let us know that our beloved cat had a "neurological episode" to which there was most likely no recovery.  I knew immediately when the call came that a difficult decision, made even more difficult by our distance, must be made.  But, make it we did. We let the children know that their beloved companion was ill but waited until sunset on the beach, when we all four gathered, to break the final news.

It is hard to fathom.  A full day of sun on a glorious beach.  A difficult decision.  A yummy dinner. Then tears on the beach and for the rest of the night.  Each day this week I have shared our joys and our triumphs for the world to see.  But today, our share our grief as well.

Peace to you in this first week of fall.

Pizzalley's St. Augustine

After a day of sightseeing in the Old City in St. Augustine, we gave in to our children's pleas of pizza. I am not a huge fan of pizza (tasty but harsh on the tummy) and so at home we only order it about once a month. Having already spotted Pizzalley's and seen the Chianti Room reviews online, we asked the park rangers at the Castillo de San Marcos what they recommend. Pizzalley's.

We arrived just in time for happy hour and music. We did not take part in any happy hour specials, but I must say they were good. BOGO on all drinks plus a slice of cheese pizza for all partaking of the drink. In addition, if you are having alcohol, you get $5.00 off a large pizza. Not bad!

The kids each wanted their own pizza and our little one had a kids pepperoni ($4.99) and we ordered the 10-inch personal pizza for our 12 year old. The kids pizza (which we could have ordered for the 12 year old) was quite large and we regretted ordered the $10 individual for him when he could have eaten the kids portion. The hubby and I ordered the Garbage Can with pepperoni, sausage, peppers, onions, mushrooms and black olives. Normally we go in for a Greek or Margarita, but we went all out. Oh my! The pizza was delicious, the crust just the right blend of think and thin and slightly crunchy. The toppings were numerous. In addition to the pizza we ordered breadsticks while we waited as this was a late lunch/early dinner for our family and we knew we would not eat again that day. The breadsticks and olive oil were perfect as was my sweet tea!

Our son (remember the 12 year old) reminded us that we never order dessert and that we are on vacation. And, our 8 year old was entranced by the singer setting up shop in the corner. So.....creme brulee, chocolate toffee mousse cake and another glass of sweet tea were ordered. We heard a few songs, ate dessert, boxed up our leftovers and headed to St. Photios to finish out our day.

Sunset Grill - St. Augustine, Florida

While we are definitely eating "at home" for most of our trip, we are eating a few favorite local/tourist spots this week.  Last night we headed to Sunset Grill.  It had great reviews by both sets (locals and tourists) and we had a few folks who are regulars to this beach tell us eat there.  After a long day at the beach we dressed in what I am calling "upscale beach" and headed into town.  Sunset is a delightful restaurant and due to our off-season travel, we were able to get a covered seat upstairs. Oh!  We went on a Monday night, so again, great seating.

We started the meal with appetizers, which we rarely order as we are, well, budget conscious. Mozarella sticks and coconut shrimp were tops on our list.  Our daughter was allergic to most of the options and the Mahi was only served rare, so these were what we decided upon.  To be honest, they were both pretty standard though they were reasonably priced.  My hubby and I ordered sweet teas while the kids ordered sodas.  The teas were good but not the best I have ever had (if you've ever read my blog you know I'm a sweet tea snob).

The orders were placed as follows:

Our 8 year old had fish bites and fries which she very much enjoyed.  The portions were ample and she now has a second meal for lunch tomorrow!

The 12 year old got All-American burger with a loaded baked potato.  The cheese sauce on the potato looked as if it came from a can but the meal itself was large and he has leftovers for lunch as well.

My husband ordered the Grouper in the seafood cream sauce with a grit cake and corn.  He very much enjoyed it I would say as he left nothing on his plate but we both agreed the grit cake was somewhat bland and the grouper would have been better with a lighter hand on the sauce.  It had a great taste but was a little too much.

I had the fish and potato wedges.  The fish was GINORMOUS!  It was a tasty piece of fish.  The wedges were hand cut and fried.  The tartar sauce was just right.  Not sure if it was made in house but it seemed as if it was.

The service was excellent!  I don't know that we would come back here but for a newbie to the area, it's certainly a place to try.

South Beach Grille - St. Augustine, Florida

We headed down from Nashville last Saturday to Crescent Beach in the northwest corner of Florida.  After a long drive and many hours to determine where we wanted to eat dinner once we pulled into the St. A area, we settled on South Beach Grille which was 2 miles from our condo.  Nashville is a major foodie town (according to every major magazine and newspaper in the country and from persona observations).  And I consider myself a fairly skilled home cook, so it has to be great to impress us (especially my husband who I can assure you is quite spoiled by my cooking).

We like to vacation in the off-season and are at the beach in late September (another benefit of homeschooling).  So, there was no wait at 8PM on a Saturday night.  We asked to be seated outside and were quite cozy despite the lower evening temps and storm that blew in that evening.

Sweet teas were ordered all around which were really just okay (sweet teas snobs) and proceeded to order our entrees.   They were as follows:  our 8 year old had the fish bites (fresh and breaded in-house) and apples (which were also sliced fresh btw); 12 year old ordered an adult burger and fries (the burger was hand-patted and substantial and the fried delicious, though probably not hand-cut); my husband had the fish tacos which did indeed have a fresh made salsa (which he loved) and I had the crab cake dinner (crab cakes where house made and though different from a Maryland crab cake and I would definitely order them again).   The entire family thoroughly enjoyed their meals!

The service was great and the meal was only around $65 with tip.  We are hoping to go there again on our final night here.

We Are Not Consumers - Revised

There was a time, not so very long ago, okay, maybe 15 years ago, that Nathan and I decided we would live as simply as we could and take as little as possible from the Earth.  We don't have solar panels, we don't live off the grid (appealing but too much work) and we don't ride walk/bike everywhere.  But, we do live fairly simply.  Our largest expense is our grocery budget because we tend to only buy foods that use sustainable practices and do not not harm our bodies.  Looking around my large den, I can only spot two pieces of furniture that were purchased new.  Bookcases and the parsons chair here at my desk.  Everything else was gifted to us gently used or built for me by my father.  I know, having furniture built counts as "new" but we did not spend hours browsing furniture stores, comparing prices, wondering what our friends would think.....and our entire home is furnished in this fashion.

All of our bedroom suits are heirloom pieces handed down through generations.  All of our dining furniture was gifted or purchased used...same for the kitchen.   It is all recycled, repurposed, refinished!

It's been on my mind - this lifestyle of ours - as I have been thinking of ways to earn extra money - run an at-home business, to sustain our path of homeschooling our children.  For many years, I have tried to make a go of direct-sales and for a while I was even getting somewhat successful, building a down-line and earning about $500 a month.  But, I never could stick with it.  I think it's because so many companies are based around customers purchasing things that do not necessarily enrich their lives. 

What I mean is this:  when I'm selling purses or tote bags or beautiful trinkets for the home, it is purely a consumer mentality.  That's just not me.  I buy a purse when my old one breaks or looks so worn that it is embarrassing.  I buy new tennis shoes when the toes of the old ones find themselves with a hole.  New pants?  We rarely go to the mall, we buy only what we need and when we need it.  There is no room in our lives - for many reasons - to shop for the sake of shopping and some of the companies I have attempted to work with have promoted shopping for the sake of shopping.  Folly on my part to be sure!


Right now, as we have made the move to the path we are on we are looking at our own habits more closely.  How do we have what we need to survive and indeed be happy without taxing the resources around us?  What are our options to bring in extra cash without urging people to shop for the sake of the  moment?  Are there opportunities for me to work with products that truly will enrich my life and the lives of others?  If you have the answer, let me know, meantime, I'll be wandering in the wilderness searching for the answers. 

***Disclaimer:  I am a huge fan of Pampered Chef, Arbonne, Usborne and Barefoot Books.  I do own products from the Utility collection from Thirty-One that I use each and every day.  This is not an attempt to speak ill of direct selling, it is more of a reflection on how to be a healthy consumer and bring additional income into my home.