Yesterday I was saddened to learn of the senseless shooting that occured during the worship services of the Tennessee Valley Uniatarion Unviersalist Church in Knoxville, TN. I am saddened by any such tragedy - any such violence - as are most. I cried over Columbine, the shooting of the children in an Amish school, and of course 911. This struck me in a different way, however. This was an attack on a Unitarian Universalist church. So, it really hit home.
Tonight, after returning home from a mournful gathering at my own UU church, I have these thoughts to share.
I prayed today for the congregants of the church. I prayed today for those shot and injured, but who survived the shooting. I prayed today for the friends and family members who lost two beloved souls - one at least who stepped in front of the gunman. I prayed today, yes, for the gunman, whose tortured life drove him to this desperate act. I prayed for each of us, Unitarian Universalist, Christian, Muslim, Jewish, and more, who know that these things can occur in place of worship, though we pray they do not.
But, mostly, my thoughts and prayers are on the children. You see, the children were putting on a long awaited production of a musical for the congregation. The children were present. They saw the gunman and the shootings. My heart breaks for them - the children who were in what should be the safest place on Earth outside of their own homes have had that safety forever shattered.
Please pray with me for these people today.
Thank you.
www.uua.org for more info.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
The Flowers
Well, I won't go into too many details as I do not want the children identified on my blog but this is a great story with a happy ending.
We have these two friends, the Flowers, who also have a little girl who is Noah's age. Tasha, the mom, and I met at homeschool PE at the Y and became friends. Noah and their little girl hit it off and became friends as well. Tasha and I realized that we were both in the adoption process which further cemented our friendship. We later found out that her husband works with Nathan. Amazing!
Nearly two years ago this great couple applied to adopt two little boys from foster care. Though there were many roadblocks (mainly due to the ineptitude of the US Foster Care System), it took that long for them to be approved and receive the boys into their home. One boy has been in foster care since age 2 and the other since birth. They are two of many siblings who are all also in foster care due to the birth Mother's inability to care for them. In fact, she voluntarily relinquished custody of at least two of the children. (That's really beside the point but I like to put that in there for those folks out there who may have stumbled across this and think that adoption is never a good choice).
Anyhoo....our friends were able to bring their boys home this week at last and have now added these two little lights into their homes. We are so thrilled for them and their happy ending and pray for a quick and smooth transition for the entire family.
We have these two friends, the Flowers, who also have a little girl who is Noah's age. Tasha, the mom, and I met at homeschool PE at the Y and became friends. Noah and their little girl hit it off and became friends as well. Tasha and I realized that we were both in the adoption process which further cemented our friendship. We later found out that her husband works with Nathan. Amazing!
Nearly two years ago this great couple applied to adopt two little boys from foster care. Though there were many roadblocks (mainly due to the ineptitude of the US Foster Care System), it took that long for them to be approved and receive the boys into their home. One boy has been in foster care since age 2 and the other since birth. They are two of many siblings who are all also in foster care due to the birth Mother's inability to care for them. In fact, she voluntarily relinquished custody of at least two of the children. (That's really beside the point but I like to put that in there for those folks out there who may have stumbled across this and think that adoption is never a good choice).
Anyhoo....our friends were able to bring their boys home this week at last and have now added these two little lights into their homes. We are so thrilled for them and their happy ending and pray for a quick and smooth transition for the entire family.
In Review
Good morning all. Well, I can report that I have been up since 4AM. One of our hundreds of cats (just kidding, one of our four cats) woke us up at 4AM crying. This went on for 15 or 20 minutes until I put her in the garage. Upon returning to bed I heard Noah fussing in the next room. I went to check on him and found a child with a very high fever, headache and upset stomach. Oh no. Other than the obvious, which is I feel so sad when he is sick, I have a noon hair appointment, we have an afternoon playdate with our friends who just returned with their new sons (see next post) and we have dinner plans with the Matuseks at Fulin's. So, I was looking for a bright point for my day and was reminded that we are in The Review Room!
What is The Review Room? The review room is the office within the CCAA where our dossier is gone over with a fine tooth comb to be determined if we are qualified to proceed to the next stage of the the adoption process. If we are okayed our file will be moved on to another office where someday it will be matched with an orphan child waiting for a forever family. Or, hopefully, in our case, it will be moved on to be matched soon with a special need or waiting child. This is good news. If we are matched by our agency with a WC, then it is good that we are out of review so we can have our file quickly moved through the rest of the process.
I am very excited about this! This is a good thing. Now, let's cross our fingers and make a wish that our dossier is moved through without any problems. Happy Friday to you.
What is The Review Room? The review room is the office within the CCAA where our dossier is gone over with a fine tooth comb to be determined if we are qualified to proceed to the next stage of the the adoption process. If we are okayed our file will be moved on to another office where someday it will be matched with an orphan child waiting for a forever family. Or, hopefully, in our case, it will be moved on to be matched soon with a special need or waiting child. This is good news. If we are matched by our agency with a WC, then it is good that we are out of review so we can have our file quickly moved through the rest of the process.
I am very excited about this! This is a good thing. Now, let's cross our fingers and make a wish that our dossier is moved through without any problems. Happy Friday to you.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
The Mudcakes
I have been remiss in my duties as a friend by not posting a link from my blog to my dear friend's website. They are The Mudcakes, also known as Rick and Sherry. Two incredibly talented people who happen to have married and have produced what I am sure are two talented children. I wouldn't know, though, they up and moved from our area to the land of plenty of sun and fun - Australia. To be fair, Sherry is from there, so she has merely returned home.
A few years ago they made one of the best kids CD's I've ever heard and we still do no tire of listening to songs, such as "Poo Party" and "That's A No No." Check out the link above or click on the Mudcakes image on the left to go to the website to hear some of the songs.
A few years ago they made one of the best kids CD's I've ever heard and we still do no tire of listening to songs, such as "Poo Party" and "That's A No No." Check out the link above or click on the Mudcakes image on the left to go to the website to hear some of the songs.
Monday, June 23, 2008
2-Wheeler
My story begins a couple of weeks ago. Noah requested that his training wheels be removed from his bike. Okay. I'm a little nervous. Not a very brave child normally, this is sort of going out on a limb. I take them off. That day I was on the upswing from a nasty sinus infection so I only had about 5 minutes in me to push him up and down the driveway trying to get a feel for a 2-wheeler. A couple of times over the next week or so, Nathan works with him a little until one or both of them became frustrated.
Next came Thursday night of last week. It was a lovely night, a little cool. Noah had been playing all day outside with the neighbors and was exhausted but wanted to try the bike again. This time, we do it in the backyard. This is a little tougher but with a softer landing should anything happen. Within four or five tries, Nathan was able to let go of the back of his bike. In an hour, Noah was outside in the cul-de-sac riding confidently in circles. He hasn't looked back.
He was so proud of himself. He really realized that had accomplished a major feat and this really put him in league with the kids out on the street! We are so proud of him. The only downside is his legs will soon be too long for him to ride his bike easily. We bought the cheapest bike we could find as the first bike - the trainer bike. I guess the next one will be serious!
Next came Thursday night of last week. It was a lovely night, a little cool. Noah had been playing all day outside with the neighbors and was exhausted but wanted to try the bike again. This time, we do it in the backyard. This is a little tougher but with a softer landing should anything happen. Within four or five tries, Nathan was able to let go of the back of his bike. In an hour, Noah was outside in the cul-de-sac riding confidently in circles. He hasn't looked back.
He was so proud of himself. He really realized that had accomplished a major feat and this really put him in league with the kids out on the street! We are so proud of him. The only downside is his legs will soon be too long for him to ride his bike easily. We bought the cheapest bike we could find as the first bike - the trainer bike. I guess the next one will be serious!
Monday, June 16, 2008
Bonnaroo Fun
HI All. Well, we didn't take photos of Noah this year, but we attended the Bonnaroo Music Festival again this year. This year we went for two days which was really challenging with Noah. We were in a booth again, something I don't know that I'll repeat. Noah has gotten to an age where the novelty has worn off and he became bored and really was sort of in the way as he really didn't want to help much this year.
I told Nathan that I want to go back next year but we will stay in a hotel by the farm or perhaps camp for one night. They now provide a family camping area, so that may be an option for us.
Noah loved the ferris wheel again, liked the kid's tent, loved the fountain (though I didn't) and had two days of face painting and really like B.B. King. "I like that B.B. King," he told us after the show. We did too.
I hope we can attend Bonnaroo as long as they offer it. He is definitely the coolest kid around, getting to go. And, in case you are wondering, there are lots of families. For more on Bonnaroo, check out my other blog www.fengshuimama.blogspot.com. Peace and love to you.
Dana
I told Nathan that I want to go back next year but we will stay in a hotel by the farm or perhaps camp for one night. They now provide a family camping area, so that may be an option for us.
Noah loved the ferris wheel again, liked the kid's tent, loved the fountain (though I didn't) and had two days of face painting and really like B.B. King. "I like that B.B. King," he told us after the show. We did too.
I hope we can attend Bonnaroo as long as they offer it. He is definitely the coolest kid around, getting to go. And, in case you are wondering, there are lots of families. For more on Bonnaroo, check out my other blog www.fengshuimama.blogspot.com. Peace and love to you.
Dana
Saturday, June 14, 2008
A Hard Decision
I want to start this post by saying that yes, this is sort of about me, about us and about her. We are all a party here. Also, in case you are wondering why I am putting this here, it is a sort of therapy. I have journaled for years and my blog has sort of become that space for me. Also, when we were walking the road toward IA but had not signed on the dotted line, I spent HOURS, I mean HOURS looking at blogs and website of folks who had adopted. I wanted to know if it is just a journey on the Love Train or is the Heartbreak Hotel on our itinerary. I guess you can figure out the answer to that.
So....here's more on the "little star" that has crossed our paths:
Thursday was a rush of internet research, discussions with Nathan, discussions with CHI, and discussions with one of the pediatric doctors and Vanderbilt's International Adoption Clinic. All I can say is to those who say this is a gimmick or VUMC's opportunity at a sure fire money maker - you're probably right - but thank God for those folks. Seriously.
By the end of the day on Thursday, well, around 3:00, Nathan and I had decided that due to a couple of questions that were lingering around this little one's diagnosis and our certainty that we were not equipped to deal with one of the medical possibilities that she may be facing long term, we decided to turn down this referral. I actually think this is the first time that Nathan was as upset as me in regards to this adoption. This is a good thing. So, I called CHI and spoke with Tina and she gave me the chance to ask more questions. I did not think this was possible due to the time restrictions we now have on reviewing these Waiting Children files.
She said, "we can try." And, she did. And, she and the Beijing office came through. They are really dedicated to placing these Special Needs or Waiting Children. It is really amazing. So, on Friday morning, we called the IA clinic and after lunch spoke with the doctor. The prognosis is good. We can't be certain. Here is why it sounds good, here is why we can't be sure. Here are the possibilities. While on the phone with her, I checked my email looking for responses from families who had adopted children with this SN. After our conference call I called one of the families and had a great conversation with her regarding her children and the joys and challenges that are in their lives.
But, when it was all said and done, there was one aspect of medical care that we just did not think we could overcome. I think on Friday morning I was sort of ashamed of this. Here Great Spirit is handing us a beautiful, bright child on a platter and there is this one thing that we can't get past. No, it isn't cosmetic, that we can deal with. This is medical and could pose serious issues in the future depending on the severity. Are we the family that can deal with possible medical intervention in the home? We had to be painfully realistic and search our hearts. No. This little star would be better in a home with another family. And, trust me, another family will adopt her in a heart beat.
When we began this journey, we thought it would be so simple. Well....I don't know if that's true. I know nothing in my life has ever been simple or sure so I probably didn't think that about adoption. I am thankful that we have allowed our path to widen to include a Waiting Child. I know we are forever changed through this process.
Today, I have all of these children in my hearts and on my mind. Our agency is sitting on around 75 kids that are part of a shared list of children. These kids range from infant to 14 or so and are just waiting for a family. Many are older and pray that a family will come for them. They long for a home and a Mother and Father. There are those who are against adoption and really against international adoption. Those folks haven't seen the children. I feel certain that the children with special needs and the older children are there only for political or socio-economic reasons. They were not stolen or sold. There are just too many.
So, we wait. There will be more files and more children. To be honest, I knew. I knew when I first looked at her - before reading anything medical or knowing really the possibilities -- just from her picture that she wasn't ours. Wasn't mine. There are families who say that adoption isn't always love at first site. But there are more that knew from the first moment of seeing their children's faces. And, these are often families who have chosen a child from the WC program. There have been other kids that we have seen photos of and said - she could be part of us. I know that another family will look at this little one and say -yep, she's ours.
So....we are keeping on keeping on. Hope you do too.
Namaste.
So....here's more on the "little star" that has crossed our paths:
Thursday was a rush of internet research, discussions with Nathan, discussions with CHI, and discussions with one of the pediatric doctors and Vanderbilt's International Adoption Clinic. All I can say is to those who say this is a gimmick or VUMC's opportunity at a sure fire money maker - you're probably right - but thank God for those folks. Seriously.
By the end of the day on Thursday, well, around 3:00, Nathan and I had decided that due to a couple of questions that were lingering around this little one's diagnosis and our certainty that we were not equipped to deal with one of the medical possibilities that she may be facing long term, we decided to turn down this referral. I actually think this is the first time that Nathan was as upset as me in regards to this adoption. This is a good thing. So, I called CHI and spoke with Tina and she gave me the chance to ask more questions. I did not think this was possible due to the time restrictions we now have on reviewing these Waiting Children files.
She said, "we can try." And, she did. And, she and the Beijing office came through. They are really dedicated to placing these Special Needs or Waiting Children. It is really amazing. So, on Friday morning, we called the IA clinic and after lunch spoke with the doctor. The prognosis is good. We can't be certain. Here is why it sounds good, here is why we can't be sure. Here are the possibilities. While on the phone with her, I checked my email looking for responses from families who had adopted children with this SN. After our conference call I called one of the families and had a great conversation with her regarding her children and the joys and challenges that are in their lives.
But, when it was all said and done, there was one aspect of medical care that we just did not think we could overcome. I think on Friday morning I was sort of ashamed of this. Here Great Spirit is handing us a beautiful, bright child on a platter and there is this one thing that we can't get past. No, it isn't cosmetic, that we can deal with. This is medical and could pose serious issues in the future depending on the severity. Are we the family that can deal with possible medical intervention in the home? We had to be painfully realistic and search our hearts. No. This little star would be better in a home with another family. And, trust me, another family will adopt her in a heart beat.
When we began this journey, we thought it would be so simple. Well....I don't know if that's true. I know nothing in my life has ever been simple or sure so I probably didn't think that about adoption. I am thankful that we have allowed our path to widen to include a Waiting Child. I know we are forever changed through this process.
Today, I have all of these children in my hearts and on my mind. Our agency is sitting on around 75 kids that are part of a shared list of children. These kids range from infant to 14 or so and are just waiting for a family. Many are older and pray that a family will come for them. They long for a home and a Mother and Father. There are those who are against adoption and really against international adoption. Those folks haven't seen the children. I feel certain that the children with special needs and the older children are there only for political or socio-economic reasons. They were not stolen or sold. There are just too many.
So, we wait. There will be more files and more children. To be honest, I knew. I knew when I first looked at her - before reading anything medical or knowing really the possibilities -- just from her picture that she wasn't ours. Wasn't mine. There are families who say that adoption isn't always love at first site. But there are more that knew from the first moment of seeing their children's faces. And, these are often families who have chosen a child from the WC program. There have been other kids that we have seen photos of and said - she could be part of us. I know that another family will look at this little one and say -yep, she's ours.
So....we are keeping on keeping on. Hope you do too.
Namaste.
We Got the Call
On Thursday "we got the call." In International Adoption, this phrase is a big deal. Well....it's a big deal to us. I had just rolled out of bed and was coughing horribly as I am getting over a sinus infection. The landline was ringing and I couldn't make it there. Whoever it was hung up, so I thought it was my sister as this is her MO. Then, my cell began ringing. Okay, okay.
"Hi Dana it's Tina Qualls with CHI." Holy Cow. It's not even 8:00AM. I hand Nathan the phone due to a coughing fit. "Talk," I manage to get out.
They have a child that they have matched with our SN list and would like for us to review her file. Nathan and I are speechless and standing in the kitchen with huge smiles on our faces. I will not and cannot go into details but she is recovering from surgery to repair a fairly serious birth defect. She is beautiful and bright and the orphanage was literally gushing over her. So, yes, we will review her file.....
All I can say after all of that, is "Thank you God for giving us this opportunity."
Peace
"Hi Dana it's Tina Qualls with CHI." Holy Cow. It's not even 8:00AM. I hand Nathan the phone due to a coughing fit. "Talk," I manage to get out.
They have a child that they have matched with our SN list and would like for us to review her file. Nathan and I are speechless and standing in the kitchen with huge smiles on our faces. I will not and cannot go into details but she is recovering from surgery to repair a fairly serious birth defect. She is beautiful and bright and the orphanage was literally gushing over her. So, yes, we will review her file.....
All I can say after all of that, is "Thank you God for giving us this opportunity."
Peace
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