On Raising A Patriot

June 7, 2014 
 

So, it seems I’m raising a patriot.  I’m a little a surprised, I don’t mind telling you, though honestly, it should not be a surprise.  As we grow older we often  revert to our roots and find comfort in the things that we were surrounded by in our youth – even if we rebelled against it.  For those who have known me for a while, you know that the dining room of my childhood home was filled with framed images of Ronald Reagan and a few of George H. Bush.  Despite my obvious liberal leanings in the eyes of my parents, I attended Young Republican rallies and was even selected to go with my hometown’s Republican leaders to attend a rally for Bush in the late 80′s in West Tennessee. As I matured and became even more liberal, the conservative ideals I had been exposed to seemed foreign and unfair in my youthful eyes.   Patriotism seemed like an old-fashioned idea to which my father and his generation clung to while the rest of the world moved on.   I believed that we should be embracing the larger ideas of tolerance and diversity which seemed to not leave room at the table for patriotism.

Now I am firmly planted in my youthful 40′s (the new 30′s, right?) and have taken on the sometimes daunting task of raising two children.  It seems I am constantly thinking of what I want to pass on to them.  What will impact their lives and make them happy and successful adults?  What are the values I (we) want instilled in them that will ground them as they grow older and seek to navigate this ever-changing world? Tolerance?  Yes.  Diversity?  Yes.  A strong faith in something larger them themselves (get ready for it,  G-O-D)?  Yes.  Patriotism?  Patriotism?  Yes.  I admit it took me a while to get back to this place.  It took years of being a news junky and being overly frustrated with my own government, years of world travel and seeing what my life could look like if I were not in the greatest nation on Earth, years of seeing oppression and violence including the recent kidnapping by extremists in Nigeria for be me to come full circle to patriotism.

It is true.  We have our faults.  We interfere in disputes that would be better left alone.  We have injustices of our own in the US and frequently falter and fall.  We are two-faced and lie and remove leaders of other countries that no longer serve us in favor of those that serve us for the moment.  We favor big corporations at the expense of the people and the environment.  We preach intolerance of lifestyle choice and still struggle with hate and racism.  These are our faults and we have many more.  And, unfortunately, those faults sell.
But, we are so much more.  We are much more tolerant than not.  We lend hands in crisis. We live in a nation where we can affect change and see it in the states that have adopted policies and laws of tolerance and love.  We feed the hungry and clean the rivers.  We flock to the aid of helpless children.  We support those with disabilities.  Though often misguided, we aid those outside of our borders who have no control over what happens to them. Unfortunately, these stories do not sell as well, so we are left to stew over our faults and the things that make us seem less than we are and negatively impact our patriotism, our love of our country.

Today, the Sun was able to attend a ceremony at a local senior center recognizing those who fought in the Invasion of Normandy, also known as D-Day.  When I asked him if he wanted to be part of this he responded, “you bet I do.”  He did not have to think twice.  There were even three D-Day veterans in attendance who live in the home and though I am not entirely sure of their age, they must be at least 88 years old to have been part of that operation.  The men and women who fought or took care of wounded on that day in France did so because they were patriots.  They believed in something greater than themselves.  If you are unsure if patriotism still lives and has importance in our lives, look across the pond to today’s celebrations in France of their liberation from German occupation.

I am choked up thinking about my son and his patriotism which sits firmly alongside his own liberal tendencies.  You see, I believe there is room at the table for liberalism and patriotism.  One does not exclude the other.

 “I slept and I dreamed that life is all joy. I woke and I saw that life is all service. I served and I saw that service is joy.” -Khalil Gibran

Standing Firmly In the Middle - Why I Support the Supreme Court's Ruling

July 9, 2014

I was 29 and pregnant the first time I was faced with the consideration of an abortion beyond an ideological discussion in which I was, of course, pro-choice. My husband and I were newly married and found ourselves very quickly expecting our first child. Our birth partner was a midwife in a large teaching hospital and when given the options of fetal testing, we turned it down. We had discussed the options early on and made the decision together that even if we were to be given the knowledge that our child had some form of birth defect, we would not abort. That was the first time that the thought occurred to me that something was not congruent in my own belief system about abortion, yet I continued to label myself as pro-choice when the discussion came up. 

Being a child of the early 70′s, growing up in the 80′s and taking womens studies classes in the 90′s, I was surrounded by other pro-choice women (and men). It wasn’t until after my son was born and we were regularly meeting new and exciting people via playdates, gymnastics, swimming excursions, etc., that I began to reexamine my ideology on this matter. I was standing on the sidelines of my son’s gymnastics class, which means the year was 2006 and talking to a very well educated, well traveled woman from New York City who was perhaps the most liberal person I had ever met. She was a fundraiser and activist for radical political groups and was quite outspoken on her beliefs. During one of our first get-to-know-you conversations the topic of abortion came up. I found myself confessing to her for the first time that though I was, am, pro-choice, my core being believes that abortion is wrong. Guess what? She felt the same way. 

That was when I really began to get an inkling of how complex this subject truly is. Fast forward to today where we once again find ourselves embroiled in a bitter nation-wide discussion of abortion and freedom of choice. When I was 16 years old, I found myself on a bus headed to a political rally in support of a man running for President (yes, of the United States). I have always been outspoken politically and held fast to my beliefs. But, there was a time that I just stepped off the bus – politically speaking. It was around the time of Hurricane Katrina and I sat with dread and grief and guilt and tears as I watching my fellow Americans suffer without the ability to do one…damn….thing. During that time I gave up on our government and began to feel immensely grateful for the religious organizations who were doing what our representatives could not do – provide food, housing, and basic needs for thousands of people who were in crisis. 

But this dialogue, this is the one that has roused me once again, for I feel there has to be a place for women like me. There has to be a voice of us who know that we should have the freedom of choice for our bodies but feel it is wrong with the exception of extreme circumstances. Freedom is funny word and it seems to not apply to everyone in our nation. The current Supreme Court ruling does not stand in the way of the freedom of the women wanting contraceptives. It does not prohibit the freedom to obtain an abortion. It does give the freedom of choice to companies who feel that certain types of birth control are similar enough to abortions as to step on their freedom to run their company in a way that reflects their religious freedom, which by the way is protected by the First Amendment.

Yes, this is a very simplified version of this situation, and yes, it could have other implications, but at the end of the day, I have to question why we believe that our employers should be forced to pay for all forms of contraceptives and why my freedom to have contraception is allowed to interfere with someone else’s belief that birth-control and abortion is wrong. 

I write this not to sway anyone but speak out as I stand firmly in the middle and know that I do not stand alone.

“Life is a flame that is always burning itself out, but it catches fire again every time a child is born.” ~George Bernard Shaw

If you need contraceptives in Tennessee and are unsure where to go, here are a few sources:

Planned Parenthood (http://www.plannedparenthood.org/planned-parenthood-middle-east-tennessee)

  (http://www.yellowpages.com/nashville-tn/free-birth-control-clinics)

TN Dept of Health and Human Services (http://health.state.tn.us/localservices.htm)

image sourced from www.usnews.com

Jumbo Laundry

May 20, 2014

I’m sitting tonight at the jumbo laundry and I haven’t had a better evening in a very long time!  I know.  I shouldn’t be this excited that the washing machine broke.  You know the one…it’s a Cadillac and should last, like, forever.  But, here we are about 8 years in and it’s sitting in pieces in my laundry room while the hubby waits on a new bearing to come it (along with the tool needed to replace said bearing).  Maybe it should have been sold as a Jaguar or Mercedes instead since they are frequently in the shop while Cadillacs  are like tanks and last forever.

But, I digress.  The washing machine is broken, I am frazzled and in desperate need of a night to myself, and we have a pile of dirty laundry and no clean towels.  What’s a girl to do?  I rallied the troops and we loaded all of the laundry onto my magic carpet.  On the way out the door I stealthily grabbed by laptop and here I sit.  No one is coming into my office, I am not staring at the piles of projects and to-do lists in my home and someone else in charge of cleaning the kitchen and getting the kids to bed.  Bonus?  There is Wi-Fi at the Jumbo Laundry which means I can surf the net, check my email and write a new blog posting.

I know.  You’re jealous.  But, don’t be a hater…just sneak away to the nearest laundry mat today.

“Clothes make the man [or woman].  Naked people have little or no influence on society.”  – MarkTwain

Making My Own Path

I've Arrived...and Now I'm Leaving

April 21, 2014

Have you ever woken up and realized that you have “arrived”?  What happens if you realize your destination is not really where you want to be?  You set things in motion – often times many years prior – and one day you wake up with everything you’ve ever wanted but knowing something about picture is wrong.  Do you stay on the path or do you take the road less traveled?  If you are me you take the road less traveled.

It all began about 20 years ago when I sat in my advisor’s office.  She asked me what career I saw myself in and I said “non-profit fundraising”.  Yep.  True story.  Fast forward to a year a half ago when I remembered that conversation and was reminded that I am capable of manifesting anything in my life (it’s sort of the whole “be careful what you wish for” idea).   When the call came to work for an organization I had volunteered with for several years (that also happened to be my kid’s school), to be honest, I hesitated greatly.  I did not apply for this job- I had applied for another.   It was quite a daunting task to raise money in a Waldorf school.  But, I took the leap.  Something continued to nag at me.

By the end of the school year I relocated my children, one who had been at the school for seven years, to other fine educational establishments.  The organization went through significant growing pains and I made the decision to stick around one more year to help them ease into the next phase.  By Christmas I realized I should have considered other options.  But, had I done that, had I not stayed through the year – this year – we might not have come to the wonderful place we are as a family.

You see, we have decided to take back our family.  I am ending my commute.  The kids are giving up the uniforms.  Though Nathan wills still be making that daily trek, he’ll be much less rushed.  We.  Are.  Home.  Schooling.  There.  I said it! We’ve been sitting on this news for many weeks and now I can shout it to the world.

So, if you see us out and about, no, we are not playing hookie, no one is sick.  We simply have taken down the walls of the classroom and expanded our thoughts on education.
 

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."

Homeschool Harvest

Last weekend I celebrated a little known festival from the British Isles called Lammas. It's one of the cross-quarter dates in the old ways and was recognized by many names all across much of Europe. For many, it's significance is the first harvest. Each year, around this time I sit and contemplate what I'm harvesting in my life and this year the harvest is varied and great. There is the obvious harvest from the vegetable garden that sits outside my kitchen window. There is more squash than I can shake a stick at, 15 tomato plants loaded with what promises to soon be ripe tomatoes, okra, swiss chard, beans, flowers and more! Yesterday, between bouts of dealing with a stomach bug, I canned several pints of peaches for fall cobblers that were part of someone else's rich harvest for which I am grateful.

But, to me, the bigger harvest came from the many hours sitting with the children as they devoured their school work leaving me both excited and nervous about the school year to come. I received several emails, phone calls and Facebook messages wondering how our first week went and decided to share the triumphs (and failures) with you. I'll begin our tale on Monday, August 4.  The Sun, Moon and I all sat down promptly at 9AM to have a little fun.  One of the components of the 7th grade curriculum that I have pieced together is the art of the illuminated book.  Though Arwyn will not be doing these to the extent that Noah will be, I decided to let her join in the fun.  We read a children's book called Marguerite Makes A Book which was definitely young for Noah, though he loved it just the same.  Fast forward three hours and we had one happy little homeschool family.

With day one such a smashing success, I knew that surely that surely nothing could go wrong and that the remainder of the week would sail by!  I guess it was all just too easy.  We spent Tuesday morning searching the neighborhood for a missing cat and by Wednesday afternoon I was fighting a full-blown stomach virus.   I managed to pull off several hours of school all three days and we took Friday off to relax at Nashville Shores.

I spoke to my friend Natalie at some point during the week and she wisely pointed out that there are lessons to be learned in these hiccups for the kids that surely could be examples of homeschooling!  At some point I gave up searching for them and instead adjusted my expectations for that first week and am living in the glow of what we accomplished, including gradually adding in all parts of our curriculum including math, geography and history.

 There is a part of me that is profoundly satisfied in this path we have chosen and have been silently considering this harvest of our lives.  We are definitely in our "honeymoon" period and there will certainly be challenges along the way.   But, the harvest continues.

"The true harvest of my life is intangible - a little star dust caught, a portion of the rainbow I have clutched..." - Henry David Thoreau

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Live Every Day (3-11-13)

This morning I received a call from a friend and parent volunteer that is working with me on our big spring event. She decided to postpone a meeting we had schedule for Wednesday. Well...decided isn't really the best word. She told me about a dear friend who had passed beyond the veil this morning from cancer. Not only did he have cancer but so does his wife. The couple has two small children. Sigh.

I had spent most of the morning wrapped up in what has become the chaos of my job and to myself lamenting that I wanted to have lunch with my daughter but did not have time. Once that call came in I can tell you, friends, that time opened up for me. I sat down at that moment, typed an email to the rest of the team letting them know I was stepping out and headed to Arwyn's school for a special lunch. On the way the hubby called to say he was en route as well. How could I pass up the opportunity to spend a few precious moments with her (and him) when we get so little as it is?

If you are reading this, thank you Sara for making that call for me this morning. The perspective it gave me shifted my entire day.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vyjq5SCbjQk&w=560&h=315]