I was 29 and pregnant the first time I
was faced with the consideration of an abortion beyond an ideological
discussion in which I was, of course, pro-choice. My husband and I were
newly married and found ourselves very quickly expecting our first
child. Our birth partner was a midwife in a large teaching hospital and
when given the options of fetal testing, we turned it down. We had
discussed the options early on and made the decision together that even
if we were to be given the knowledge that our child had some form of
birth defect, we would not abort. That was the first time that the
thought occurred to me that something was not congruent in my own belief
system about abortion, yet I continued to label myself as pro-choice
when the discussion came up.
Being a child of the early
70′s, growing up in the 80′s and taking womens studies classes in the
90′s, I was surrounded by other pro-choice women (and men). It wasn’t
until after my son was born and we were regularly meeting new and
exciting people via playdates, gymnastics, swimming excursions, etc.,
that I began to reexamine my ideology on this matter. I was standing on
the sidelines of my son’s gymnastics class, which means the year was
2006 and talking to a very well educated, well traveled woman from New
York City who was perhaps the most liberal person I had ever met. She
was a fundraiser and activist for radical political groups and was quite
outspoken on her beliefs. During one of our first get-to-know-you
conversations the topic of abortion came up. I found myself confessing
to her for the first time that though I was, am, pro-choice, my core
being believes that abortion is wrong. Guess what? She felt the same
way.
That was when I really began
to get an inkling of how complex this subject truly is. Fast forward to
today where we once again find ourselves embroiled in a bitter
nation-wide discussion of abortion and freedom of choice. When I was 16
years old, I found myself on a bus headed to a political rally in
support of a man running for President (yes, of the United States). I
have always been outspoken politically and held fast to my beliefs. But,
there was a time that I just stepped off the bus – politically
speaking. It was around the time of Hurricane Katrina and I sat with
dread and grief and guilt and tears as I watching my fellow Americans
suffer without the ability to do one…damn….thing. During that time I
gave up on our government and began to feel immensely grateful for the
religious organizations who were doing what our representatives could
not do – provide food, housing, and basic needs for thousands of people
who were in crisis.
But this dialogue, this is the
one that has roused me once again, for I feel there has to be a place
for women like me. There has to be a voice of us who know that we should
have the freedom of choice for our bodies but feel it is wrong with the
exception of extreme circumstances. Freedom is funny word and it seems
to not apply to everyone in our nation. The current Supreme Court ruling
does not stand in the way of the freedom of the women wanting
contraceptives. It does not prohibit the freedom to obtain an abortion.
It does give the freedom of choice to companies who feel that certain
types of birth control are similar enough to abortions as to step on
their freedom to run their company in a way that reflects their
religious freedom, which by the way is protected by the First Amendment.
Yes, this is a very simplified
version of this situation, and yes, it could have other implications,
but at the end of the day, I have to question why we believe that our
employers should be forced to pay for all forms of contraceptives and
why my freedom to have contraception is allowed to interfere with
someone else’s belief that birth-control and abortion is wrong.
I write this not to sway anyone but speak out as I stand firmly in the middle and know that I do not stand alone.
“Life is a flame that is always burning itself out, but it catches fire again every time a child is born.” ~George Bernard Shaw
If you need contraceptives in Tennessee and are unsure where to go, here are a few sources:
Planned Parenthood (http://www.plannedparenthood.org/planned-parenthood-middle-east-tennessee)
(http://www.yellowpages.com/nashville-tn/free-birth-control-clinics)
TN Dept of Health and Human Services (http://health.state.tn.us/localservices.htm)
image sourced from www.usnews.com
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