On Dad's FB Response to Daughter

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl1ujzRidmU&feature=player_embedded#!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJCYuybp6DU&feature=channel


Okay, so this is the guy who posted a video on FB in response to his daughter's rant about chores in the home. I know he went over the top but damn this guy is a wake up call to America.  Watch it and listen and though you and I may not complete agree with his tactics look around at how parents are crippling their children all around the world and creating an entitlement generation.

In our home our children get hugs and kisses and sleep with us regularly and get homemade cookies and at least 2 hot meals a day and playdates with friends and trips to the library and to historical and cultural events.  They also get daily chores and consequences if expectations are not met.  They are given presents on birthdays and Christmas.  They are also given the opportunity to purchase ALL of their own toys the remainder of the year.  In fact, our son is currently saving his hard earned money for a DS.  He has over $100 and very proud of that though he has been tempted to spend said money on other things.  

As society improves and technology increases and the focus on children and education continues to grow, many parents become slaves to their children's wants and desires.  I can honestly say that I am so grateful we have decided to think out of the box in regards to educating our kids as there are few status symbols on our campus and kids with the latest technologies know to leave it and talk of it (mostly) at home.   No one knows name brands and whether or not you purchase your groceries from a local farm is more important that whether or not you are wearing Prada.


I'd love to hear your opinion of this video so feel free to comment or to send me a shout out via email!


Happy Parenting.


Dana

More on Valentine's

Each year Valentine's give me heart palpitations as I contemplate the design for the hand-made greeting cards we create for both Noah's and Arwyn's classrooms at school. As we are at a Waldorf school we generally create these from scratch. By "we" I mean "I" do most of the work and then let the kids come in and help complete the process. I know. Bad mom. But usually I have waited until the last minute and have lost patience for the children and my husband and the cats and the house and resort to quickly putting together the cards with just enough help from the Sun and Moon to say they did the cards. 

Not this year, baby. This year I have taken drastic measures. This year, using my handy dandy coupon, I have created a Valentine's masterpiece on Shutterfly. Using pics from the Tennessee State Museum field trip that I chaperoned I have made the ultimate cards for my 4th grader to deliver on said day of Love. Not sure how he is going to feel about the photo of him in the stockade, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. 

Why did I deviate from the standard practice of a handmade card? I am seeking full time employment and am hoping to be working prior to V-Day and cannot imagine making cards for both classes. Now, with that stated, I will be sitting down with Arwyn next week to create pre-school masterpieces for her to drop in her peer's heart shaped card folders.

Now...to convince Noah's teacher that his cards were handmade..... Peace. Dana

Family Bucket List

Nathan, the kids and I are going to make 2012 our best year ever. I have assigned the entire family with the task of creating individual bucket lists. Each person has to come up with 10 things they want to do. These items may not all get accomplished in one year but we will begin to do as many as we can. As we knock one off we'll be adding one back on. Can't wait to see everyone's list!

Peace to you this blessed season!

Dana

Great Art for Kids

http://www.artprojectsforkids.org/

On Schedule

Well, the Sun started school last week and the Moon started on Monday.  To be honest, I was fully expecting tears and tantrums and the 'ole "I don't want to go Mommy" from the Moon, but she went with bells on!  And, the Sun did too.  Would it be so wrong to say that on Monday - and each day since - I've done  a little happy dance each morning when the hubby and kids have left for school?  I now have 4 hours of quiet where I can listen to whatever I want to on the stereo, get a cup of coffee, fold the laundry and do just about everything without any interruption?  

Each day since school has started both kids have come home exhausted but happy.  Noah's 4th year curriculum promises to be rich and challenging.  We have Norse mythology and Tennessee history, fractions, zoology and the human body and woodworking.  That's not all, of course, but it's all very new and exciting!  Arwyn is now the age when the early childhood teachers begin to separate the preschool children from the "crown" kindergartners in her mixed age class.  She is technically "crown" age and is showing all of the signs that she is ready to move on.  But, am I?  Am I ready to no longer have any preschoolers?  I just don't know.


What I do know is it is going to be a great year.  Life is grand and I am savoring those moments in the morning when life is serene and quiet.  I'm listening to my blog music and am off to start the washing machine.  Here's to a full and productive morning!

Welcome Back Noah

I cannot believe it is here.  The weather is cool (falsely cool) and the scent of football is in the air.  Or, in our case, soccer!  Today I will be gathering all of Noah's things that have to be taken to school, baking cookies for the teachers, putting together a muffin loaf to go in the oven in the morning as soon as we wake up, getting Noah's haircut, doing all of the normal things and finally, headed out for our first soccer game of the season!

Normally we start school flying by the seat of our pants, but this year I'm ready, willing and organized and most importantly, I have a plan!

As the school year goes on I'll be writing more about this but it starts today with putting all of Noah's soccer gear in a bag with my folding chair and a snack bag (I'm ready for Arwyn!) and lots of water.  If you are looking for a great bag to carry your sports gear in...look no further than Thirty-One's Large Utility Tote - personalized, of course!  You can click on my Thirty-One link to find out more info on this great bag!

First Day of Summer Break

Okay.  Technically we have half a day today.  But, I'm packing lunches and swimsuits and as soon as I pick up the kids we are headed to the pool for our half day of summer break!  I cannot wait!  Lazy days and lots of fun, here we come!

Noah the Hunter

For those of you who even REMOTELY are considering that you can avoid gender stereotypes and raise your child gender neutral, read this.

1.  You are an idiot and sorely mislead by reading ultra feminist rants by people who more than likely never had children in the first place.

2.  You CANNOT take out of a person what we are naturally designed to be like.

We sort of held this notion that we would let Noah be whomever he wanted to be.  We wanted it to be okay if he wanted to play with dolls.  We did dress him in traditional clothing and we fulfill traditional husband and wife stereotypes but we wanted him to see that anyone can be who they want to be.

When Noah's first word was "truck" and he had an obsession with trucks despite the fact that we are not big car people or really into our vehicles, I knew that all of the things I had read about gender stereotypes to be largely false or at least misguided to a degree.

We also did not want to raise our son around guns.  We (meaning I) have lots of family members who hunt and have guns and I grew up with guns in our home.  But, as I was pregnant with him when 9-11 occurred and we had entered a war we did not support, guns were not something we wanted modeled for him.

Fast forward 9 years.....we have a war obsessed gun lover who I would allow to go and hunt but to be honest, I don't think he has the heart or the stomach for it.  And, as I am not particularly fond of meat  and am really not fond of game, we are putting off the hunting lessons.  So, for now, he is content with shooting at cans with his grandparent's BB gun and saving his money to buy his own.

Here are a few photos from Pop!

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig

Well, I did it.  I took a leap of faith and left my job.  And, I convinced my husband that it is a leap that will benefit the entire family.  Two and a half years ago we decided to enroll our son in private school with the agreement between ourselves that I would work to pay for said school.  For nearly two years that worked fine.  Then, we were blessed with our Moonflower and for the last few months we have juggled the kids, the house, volunteer work, family and ourselves.  Though the balls have been in the air, I have found the circus quite overwhelming and not so fun.  Okay, to be truthful, I'm miserable.  

We eat out more than we should, when I am not at work or shuttling to and fro work I am cleaning, I never see the kids and when I do I have zero patience for them.  I have wondered over and over why we are doing this.  I realized several months ago that someday we will look back and see that the quality of our children's education was wonderful but the quality of our lives was awful.  

I am not leaving the workforce.  Over the summer I decided to go into business for myself and am an Independent Consultant for a great direct sale company.  I want to continue to have an income and hopefully a career, but it has to be on my terms this time and on my family's terms.

I'll be writing more about this on this blog and my more grown up blog Living Harmonies, but for now, just now that you are about to be seeing lots more from me in this forum and out in the world as after next week I'll no longer be tied to someone elses idea of what my week should look like.

What are you waiting for?  What in your life needs to change today?  Look around and take a leap.

Happy Sunday.

Dana

Noah's 1 Year Family Anniversary Book

Click here to view this photo book larger

1 Year Family Anniversary - Arwyn

Click here to view this photo book larger

What is the Beginning of Her Story?

Many nights before bed, my girl asks to hear the story of Mama Bear and Papa Bear and how they traveled to China to get their daughter. After a year I would have thought Arwyn would have grown tired of it. But, no, she still loves it as often as I'll tell it.


In a week and a half, our family will celebrate the one year anniversary of becoming a family of four. In celebration, I am creating photo books for the kids (one each) and one for Nathan and I which chronicles our 17 day trip through China.  I'll hand them out at dinner at a local Chinese restaurants where all of the Chinese nationals eat.


Noah's book was so simple to put together. I told the story and added pictures and cannot wait to see it come in the mail. Hmmm....


Then I began Arwyn's book. I guess the question is not so much where does her story begin. The answer to that is it began at the same place that everyone's story begins. Two people meet, join together and make a baby. Then what? Fill in the blank. Then they decide they cannot keep their daughter because she is a girl? Then they decide they cannot keep her because they have other children? Do they decide they cannot keep her because of the poverty level the live in? What about because of her special need and their knowledge that medical help is all but impossible in their city?


I believe they wanted to keep her. Call me optimistic, but our beloved was not abandoned right away. She was not a newborn when she was found which gives me hope that her parents struggled before letting her go. I don't know that to be true of course and would not put that in her anniversary book. But, as a mom, having given birth and having traveled to China and seen the women there, I cannot believe that her Mother gave her away without her own heart breaking.


My heart hurts now for her and for Arwyn. But, that still leaves me with the question of where to begin the story of her life with us. I'm sure I'll sort it out as I put the book together, skipping parts here and there until I have a clear picture of what this looks like.


We all want to know our own story. We yearn to find out about ourselves. We take self help classes and meditate and pray and ask for guidance. But, most of us have at least firm footing of our roots and our ancestry to begin. For those that do not, where do you go?


I am sure this will not be the first time that we are faced with such dilemmas as we help our little one navigate life. I just hope that we are wise enough to face these challenges and help her come through the other side.

My Little Mirrors

Over 8 years ago I gave birth to a precious baby boy. It did not take me long to realize that this presence in my life would give me the opportunity to grow in ways I never thought possible. As I (we) have watched him grow, rarely a day does not go by (at least I hope it doesn't) that I do not look at him and see an aspect of myself. Sometimes it is an aspect that I love, sometimes, well, not so much.

Now, after having Arwyn enter into our lives, it is no different. Sometimes Nathan and I look at one another and I'll say, "that's my kid" or "that's your kid." Arwyn gets the giggles and will laugh hysterically for 20 minutes. That's my girl. When her OCD qualities come out or when she eats her dinner one item at a time, well, that's Nathan.

Though certainly not a perfect parent by any means, I feel fortunate that I have this perspective and that by loving my kids, even when they act like me, that I create a greater love for myself.

Today, I wish each person that reads this that has children of their own can love their children even when they mirror the parts of themselves that they often find unlovable.

Sometimes, looking in the mirror is a good thing.

Snow Days???

This week is a good week. Noah's school is out for a teacher in service, which, BTW, they appeared to have canceled for some reason.

Oh well. Noah, Arwyn and I are snuggling on my bed this morning, watching the snow fall softly as it has done on and off for a couple of days.

We are listening to one of my Pandora stations, "Women Who Rock" - featuring the likes of India Arie and Norah Jones. I'm blogging, Arwyn is being a busy 3 year old on the bed and Noah is going through a Playmobil catalog making out his 2010 Christmas list.

Yes, I realize Christmas is a long way off - a fact that does not seem to bother him as he happily plans receiving the entire catalog from the North Pole.

Arwyn's new fave book is Go Dog Go by Dr. Seuss. She happily imitates the dogs and pretends to swim, drive and jump into water. "Read, Momma, Read" is what we hear throughout the day. We were a little worried she would not like books - the horror - but is thankfully becoming a little bookworm like Noah (and myself).

We are quickly approaching the date of Arwyn's first palate surgery - it will be Monday February 22. Next week I'll have lots of time on my hands and will spend some of the week while at the hospital working on my blog, writing updates and posting photos.

Radnor

Much needed relaxation at Radnor Lake on Sunday. The "difficult" trail nearly did me in! But, it was a glorious day to behold.

Why Waldorf and Why No Media?

Last night as Nathan, Noah and walked down the Shelby Bottoms Greenway I had time to think about our day which led me to further reflection about the media policies in Waldorf Education. Of course, these are my personal thoughts and not nesseccarily from a Waldorf pedagogical stance.

First, let me tell you a little about our week. Noah watched television last Sunday. We had no TV again until Wednesday afternoon which was his first day of school. It was a half day but was still overwhelming due to getting up early, mine and Nathan's committment to the Hospitality Committee that morning and Noah's first day of getting back to that routine. And, it was seriously hot. So, by the time we arrived home, we were both overheated and just plain exhausted. He asked and I said yes, so PBS was turned on for about an hour and a half and I vegged out in front of the computer. Noah did not see the TV again until Saturday morning.

Over the weekend, he watched a little television, some on Saturday morning and then on Sunday. We have been listening to Harry Potter and the SS on CD and as we have finished it, I decided we could watch the movie on Sunday night. So, from Sunday to Sunday, he probably watched a total of 8 hours of TV which works out to an hour a day, which, quite frankly, is still too much, but compared to what the average child watched - 28 Hours - I'm feeling pretty good. And, considering that out of those 8 days, only 4 consisted of TV time - I'm still feeling good.

There are days when we are torn. We would like to eliminate the television entirely, but Nathan and I also enjoy it and we want Noah to grow up with access to some media as we do not want him to be an adult that cannot carry on conversations with other adults when it comes to pop culture. That may sound silly, but I have met those people and it is not pretty.

That, coupled with the fact that MANY of the kids we interact with have seen so much more than Noah and he is already feeling a little left out, leads us to this. But, I want to be clear about the media and its affect on our children. Noah and his friends can scarcely carry on conversations without them including references to television shows. Noah is NOT allowed to watch cable television shows such as Spongebob, but so many of his friends are - even the Waldorf kids - and it is somewhat disturbing to me that even at this young of an age that the media has so much influence over them.

I was thinking of these things last night and what I realize is that the media policies that exist in Waldorf education serve many purposes and it is my hope that as families turn to Waldorf schools and enroll their children there they will follow the policies to the best of their ability. Though I have no PROOF of this, I would daresay that the day for an average child in the US goes something like this:

Get up in the morning, get dressed, have breakfast and turn on the TV. If the child is not at a school that has a dress code, they might put on a Dora or Scooby Doo shirt. They go to school where other children are wearing character clothing. At some point during they day they may be shown a movie (yes this happens, I remember it as a child and have recently had families tell me that their child is regulary shown movies at school and I KNOW that MANY daycares use movies for toddler/preschool children). They spend much of their free time disucssing TV shows and then come home to turn the television back on.

There is really not a point during the day when the children are free of the distractions of television. I say television but I also lump video games into this category. Most of the families we know outside of Waldorf have at least one gaming system, many have them all. We go to restaurants and see children as young as 5 walk in with DS games and never once look up or talk to the parents. We see kids texting and never interacting with their families at dinner.

It is incredibly sad.

So...that is one of the reasons we are so grateful for our school and the Waldorf perspective. While at school the children are not allowed to discuss TV or pop culture. No cell phones are allowed. No video games. No clothing covered in Bakugan. None of those things. The children are able to knit, read, paint, do their work in a media free environment giving them the one respite they may have. Our children will have MANY years to be rammed by the media machine. Childhood only happens once and I am glad we have chosen this path for Noah where he will have at least a few years of having a few precious hours of each day in a media free environment.

With that said, I would LOVE to have a Wii. Oh well.

The Answers

We don't always have the answers, we parents. It's too bad, really, and often quite stressful. Sometimes we don't have the answers because we are the problem. The problem: 1 pair of stressed out parents who have been trying since June 26th to close on their home and move the family to a new home; one home stood on its head - mostly packed up - often a disaster zone; things breaking all over the place and having to be repaired; 1 bored kid; 1 babysitter who is also the aunt who has not been given clear instruction by the aforementioned parents on how to take care of the 1 bored kid. So, a recipe for disaster.

Now, we are in recovery mode. We are attempting to recover any sanity and peace that once existed in our home. We are attempting to keep the peace during the next 24 hours when we find out once and for all if we are going to have someone buy our home and close on the new home.

To reconcile the issues within our home I have been burning lavender candles and sage like crazy. I am attempting to give the 1 bored kid - the Sun - more attention and have been attempting to keep the home clean and clear of clutter, a sure stress builder in any home.

To be truthful, he's been a real trooper. We have shown our home, looked at countless homes, packed up the majority of his toys and books and he's really hung in there. This week, though, this final week when it all comes down to the end, he has sort of lost it.

We are now the meanest parents ever and he does not like us, or so he said before bedtime. Hold the phone! It's family meeting time. I find when we are in these situations with Noah the best thing to do is to give him room to cool down and realize what has occurred, then sit down and ask him why he is behaving a certain way and what we can do to help the situation. Don't get me wrong, there are those times when I'm the Mom and you'll do as I say, or else. But, there are these times which we recognize and we make a huge effort to find the underlying cause of bad behavior because for the most part, he's the best kid ever.

I know I'm rambling at this point, but it is so hard. As parents we are expected, by ourselves, to know the answers, but truthfully, we are just winging it most of the time.

Happy Parenting.

Mom Song

I'm sure you've all seen this but I love this and just now got around to finding it on You Tube. Enjoy!

"Mom's Song" - William Tell Overture

Job Description

ob Description:
POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, ma, Pop


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends
and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.


RESPONSIBILITIES:
For the rest of your earthly life you:
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated
devices. Must always hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability
for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment s due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right .

Halloween

Well, I'm just now getting around to the Halloween photos. As usual, we had a fantastic night. Nathan's parents joined us for a night of warm fall soup prior to the rounds of Trick-Or-Treating. Also, as usual, we went with the entire street. Our dear neighbors of the last 7 years moved the day before but came back to the court for the festivities. Along with the Brahnams was the family next door. We visited our other neighbors along the way and of course, two of the neighbors had treat bags ready for our little gang. Noah was in his Harry Potter best, Nathan was Gandalf (as usual), and I was a witch (nothing new there!) A good time was had by all.

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com