Adoption Blog Posts from January 2008 through April 2008

Update (April 15, 2008)

Hi All,

Well, you can see from my last post that I have become a little frustrated with the wait for a new addition to our family. The though of a little girl seemed very real and nearly 2 years ago when we began this process but now seems more out of reach.

I want to let those of you know that are reading my blog that I did speak with my China coordinator from CHI and had a great conversation with her. I want to be clear that I realize that from where the agencies sit and really from where the parents sit, there is not a best way or most fair way to handle things like the WC program. Each agency has its own policies and some seem even less fair than they one we have.

I can tell you that due to new CCAA regulations requiring families to submit dossiers for waiting children within a specific time period and due to CHI's current Hague accredidation status, that it seems that non CIS approved families will not be allowed to apply for WC and families who cannot complete the dossier within the specified time period will not be able to apply. So...this takes care of much of the problem....for now.

For me, I am personally working on being more upbeat and positive and as the house is taking shape and moving more in the direction that I would like for it to go, perhaps we will begin working on a nursery soon and be prepared when our referral comes. Until then, please keep us - especially Noah who is waiting for a sister - in your thoughts during this long wait.

Blessings.

Dana

Venting! (March 29, 2008)

I am so frustrated right now. In fact, it is beyond words, but I'll try. Our agency has made what it feels is the best decision on how to handle its waiting children files and I support them in their decision - for the most part. They have responded to their clients wishes and over the last year have amended the WC process to be what they deem to be the most fair. I have supported this knowing how hard it is to please everyone.

But! I just visited the blog of one of the families traveling right now to pick up their daughter. I immediately recognized the little girl as one we applied for last Spring....A YEAR AGO. I was curious as to why it took them so long to get their LOA and TA (the paperwork giving them an official referral and travel approval). The family was picked to review the file and accepted the little girl last April and could not get it together to submit their dossier until October! It took them 6 months to put together their paperwork and all they can say is they are procrastinators. How many of us were logged in and ready to go then?

Unbelievable is all I can say. So, this little girl has lived an additional year with a foster family that she has been bonding with and will now be ripped away from to go live with her "forever family."

I'm very frustrated right now and will be calling our agency on Monday to discuss this with them. I never had a problem with them allowing non logged in families to apply for these kids...until now. I just naturally assumed that a non LID family would really hustle to get an LID so they could be united with the child that they have been waiting for.

I'm just so frustrated by this. The thing is, for the most part I have understood that adoption sucks. Really. It is frustrating and their are long waits and the children end up being the ones to suffer the most in so many ways both before and after the adoption. But, really. This is just too much.

All I can do now is hope and pray for this little one and hope that this situation does not continue to happen.

Please keep all of the orphans in the world in mind in your hopes and prayers. They deserve so much more.

Peace.

Dana

Update (March 26, 2008)

Not much going on. We are wrapping up our CIS update. It is taking me forever. I have decided that I am decidedly unorganized now when it comes to paperwork since staying home with Noah. It is funny. I could not stand to have a paper out of place when I had my own office. I was incredibly together. Now that I am at home....calendar's, clocks, papers, they mean nothing to me. I have got to get it together!

So, all I have left is to pick up the green form today, get it to our SW tomorrow, pick up the homestudy, and overnight it to CIS with a request for a free one time extension. Then, we are still in the game.

As far as kids go, we are still light years away from a traditional referral, we are continuing to watch our agency's special needs list and still considering Ethiopia. Please keep us in our thoughts as we await the gift of a new child into our home.

Peace Out.

Dana

Update (March 6, 2008)

Hi all. Not much going on. We have applied to review the files of two more waiting children. I am holding out hope but the files are locked by a family from another agency. One cutie is a 3 year old red head - yes, I said red head - and the other is a little dark haired 2 year old. They are really quite cute and funny. Not your typical children from a Chinese SWI. Nathan said he didn't know if he could do the red head as he says she would have to be chained to us from 14 on as all of the boys would be chasing her. The other is possibly the pudgiest child from an orphanage I've ever seen.

Well, we'll let you know if we get to see the files.

For now, we are getting our immigrations stuff updated and getting ready to have our fingerprints redone. Apparently Homeland Security thinks they might have changed in the last 18 months. Of course, we know who is at the helm, so that is not surprising.

We are trying to get it all done quickly as the US is signing the Hague Treaty on International Adoption standards and makes things much more complicated for us do-gooders and would be parents.

One of my main reasons for halting the Ethiopian process was not being ready to put together another dossier, but we are essentially doing that, so if we want to jump back into Ethiopia, we'll be ready.

Please keep us in your thoughts as this wait continues. I am hopeful, though that we will see a new addition to our family by the end of this year.

Keep on keeping on....

Dana

Change of Plan (January 23, 2008)

Well, I won't say much for now, but mainly due to the fact that my heart breaks when thinking of the leaving the China program and not being able to come to a decision on doing concurrent adoptions or going just for Ethiopia, we are staying solely in the China program for now.

This decision has not been made lightly and we (me) have done lots of soul searching over the past few weeks. My heart breaks for the Ethiopian children and my heart tells me that I will be there some day looking a our child. But, for now, we have to stick to our original path and finish what we started in China.

Thank you all for staying on this emotional roller coaster with us.

Peace Out.

Dana