More Thoughts On Diversity (December 29, 2007)
Well, I have probably posted something to this effect before, but I am constantly evaluating our life to see what types of diversity we have. I came across some info on trans racial adoption and it suggested you look at your neighborhood to get an idea of the diversity you have in your life. Next door we have a dad of Mexican heritage. Two doors down we have an African American family with two young sons. Down the street, the house that actually faces mine, is a an older AA couple that we see quite frequently and so on and so forth. All of these families participate in block parties, 4th of July celebrations, etc. with us.
We also homeschool. We attend several different homeschool activities each week and I would daresay that at least 1/3 of the families at the activities are AA, there are usually one or two families of Latin heritage and often one or two families with children adopted from China.
I think church is really the only place where we see few families of a different racial heritage than ours. However, we have a partnership with an AA Baptist church and celebrate several holidays with them. These are usually older folks. I have the feeling that the congregation does not currently have many young families, but that can always change.
Also, on our bookshelves, it has been amazing what I have found lately. Nathan's cousin was an elementary art teacher in Arlington, VA and gifted us with all of her classroom books when she switched to high school. There must be twenty books specifically from an AA viewpoint or by an AA author featuring AA children.
I'm feeling pretty good right now. I'm beginning to stop stressing about this whole thing and now can focus on finishing our dossier, getting us moved and getting a nursery set up. Wish me luck.
Dana
Drum Circles (December 20, 2007)
I've been attending drum circles for about 8 years. I used to go to them much more regularly. In fact, I used to book a drumming group - the Love Drums - for the bookstore I worked for. Unfortunately, I have not attended as regularly as I would like since having Noah. And, though Noah loves drumming and was attending circles in utero and as an infant, the circles are really too loud for him so he goes but can only tolerate so much.
I realized a few months ago that I needed some time to be an adult again for a little while anyway before the baby comes and contacted the Love Drums leader, Ed, to sign up for his beginning drum class. I've got the dancing down and love African dancing, but the drumming...ah...I could use some help. So, I am now signed up for classes beginning January 7th and I'm so excited!
Tonight I was standing here cooking and was, as usual, over analyzing my life and was wondering about some of the things in our life that people will assume we are doing as parents adopting an African child....like drumming - with djembes. We also have a most amazing print in our home by Bernard Stanley Hoyes called "In the Spirit." He is one of my favorite artists and the print is beautiful. We have also had it for nearly 10 years. What else? My love of wearing my hair in braids, which I did when it was longer and as I have promised Nathan to grow it back out, here come the braids! Hmm...I'm sure there is more and will be more as I delve deeper into Ethiopian culture.
One of my friends is from Kenya and moved back to Nairobi a few years back. I have asked her if it is appropriate for me to wear a kaftan and somewhat traditional Ethiopian clothing. She assures me yes, as she has always done so. So, get ready ya'll, cause I've been wanting to wear a kaftan for a while. They look very comfy!
Oh yes, then there is carrying the baby in a sling. I carried Noah in one until he was three and then I still put him in on my back occasionally. Though a more Western style baby carrier may be easier on the back, I always liked the way a sling made me feel. It made me feel closer to the Earth. Maybe it was that skin to skin feeling I often had when he was in the sling, I don't know. Maybe it was the rich colors of my sling. Who knows when dealing with intangibles such as these.
So, what's the point? The point is that this is how we live. Pretty normal, typical middle class folks with a pull toward things much more exotic and ethnic. As we are walking this path toward adoption I am in constant evaluation of our life and how what we do will affect a child not of our race, whether Chinese or African. I probably need to give it a rest at this point and step away from it for a while. Nathan, who is much more enlightened than I am says to give it a rest. He's probably right.
In the meantime, my dear friend Tyra has invited me to her husband's church where he is an associate pastor. It is a black church and since I have a love of gospel music and she assures me that their music is most amazing, I guess I'll be heading that way. We are raising the kids Unitarian Universalist, but as the church has a VERY early service on Sunday (7:30AM), that would give us time to go once or twice a month before our own service...which is the very late 10:50. I am actually really looking forward to this. I've been wanting to attend services at an AA church for quite some time but have been too lazy to put the effort in to finding a church I like. I love Tyra and Noah loves her boys, so this may be the one.
Oh well....I have to sign up now, I have to peel potatoes and obsess some more.
Peace Out.
Dana
Where Are We Now? (December 15, 2007)
Well, basically, I have to wrap up dossier number 2, the Ethiopia one, including new medicals, a Citizenship approval to switch from China to Ethiopia and new referral letters from friends and family members. Hopefully, it should take no more than say, 6 weeks for the CIS (I'll send it off the first week of January) and the other papers should be finished during that time. Our Social Worker will be doing an updated homestudy and then probably again once we move. Fingers crossed, my estimates tell me that we might receive a referral.....in April. That's me being optimistic. I just hope it is before the courts close for the rainy season...or well before the rainy season in general. That just doesn't sound fun to me.
I know many of you may think we are crazy. To be honest, I keep wondering that myself. Then, I will read something or hear a song that tells me that life goes by so quickly and we cannot sit around wondering about our decisions, wondering what to do next. I am 35 and have decided that life is not going to pass me by...and by proxy....it also will not pass Nathan and Noah by.
So....Ethiopia here we come. Thank the Goddess for you all who are patiently waiting with us and supporting us through this. It means more than you know.
Also, here is a link to a speech by Melissa Faye Greene the author of There Is No Me Without You.
Check it out!
National Adoption Week (November 10, 2007)
Did You Know? National Adoption Month began as “Adoption Week” in the state of Massachusetts in 1976, organized by then governor, Michael Dukakis. Later, President Gerald Ford declared that “Adoption Week” should be celebrated nationally. As the years went by, more and more states participated in celebrating “Adoption Week,” and with more activities than one week could hold, in 1990 it became National Adoption Month. So....celebrate adoption all month, but specifically the Saturday before Thanksgiving each year! Peace.
Bittersweet Ending (November 10, 2007)
Well, I found out yesterday that the beautiful little one we applied now has a home. And, it is not ours. To her and her new family - congratulations. I hope you find all of the joy and happiness that the Universe can give you. It is for me, however, a bittersweet ending. For three weeks I have looked upon her face on my computer, knowing the chance would be slim that she would be ours, but looking at her all the same.
We had decided that as soon as we found out we would pull our China dossier and proceed with Ethiopia. In fact, our ET dossier is over halfway complete. Now, the CCAA has thrown a cog in our wheel and our agency is more than likely at this moment finalizing the new policy on allowing concurrent adoptions.
How does this affect us? Since CHI has not in the past allowed concurrents, we would be completely pulling out of China. Now, with concurrents possible, it seems we may be keeping our dossier active and proceeding with ET. For Nathan and I it means much soul searching over the next few days.
At this point I hope to keep our dossier in China until after we finalize our Ethiopian adoption. It is hard to know in a year how we will feel. Will this little one be all we need to complete our family or will we decide to grow our family again?
Only time will tell.
Ethiopia...here we come!
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