I spent the better part of my teenage years as well as my
twenties trying to separate myself from much of my upbringing and am
spending my parenting years trying hard to reconnect with it. It has
been since becoming a parent that I have realized the values that were
instilled in me and I try to pass much of it on to my children. Though I
am reminded of this regularly, it is in the way we handle chores around
the homestead and how we present death that I am perhaps most aware.
Maybe I grew up differently than most or maybe it is just that I am very
connected to my Southern roots and look at death through that lens. I
grew up in a small Tennessee town and was born in an even more rural
area. Our neighbors in the area where I was born have names like
“Buttermilk” and “Happy” and there is, even today, nothing but farmland
as far as the eye can see. Folks that grow up on a farm have a
different view of the circle of life than those who do not. And, though
my parents moved us away from a life in the country at a young age,
they did not leave behind their values and taught us how to celebrate
death as well as life.
I guess I am reminded of this as we draw near Halloween, also known as Samhain, as well as All Saints Day. Not only that, but the 3rd anniversary of my Mother’s death was last week and each year at this time I am reminded of the day of her passing. I’m also reminded of how we approach death in our family and in probably many other Southern families as a friend of mine recently lost the family dog after 14 blissful years. She said the most difficult part was how to explain death to her elementary school age girls. Like many of the folks in my life, “she ain’t from around here.” Sitting with her during a moment of grief reminds me that even in the United States, our cultural values vary and are what brings us together and what distinguishes us as groups.
I can remember going to funerals from a young age, starting with my Grandfather who was “laid out” in the living room in the late 1970′s. And, like my parents, I took the Sun to his first funeral when he was around the age 3 and we’ve never looked back. In fact, when we lost our beloved dog two years ago, he put on gloves and boots and assisted Nathan in digging the grave in the backyard before the memorial service. It is perhaps one of my proudest memories of him and proudest moments as a parent (which I can assure you are usually wanting).
I think I am glad to be reminded of these things and am making a point of truly celebrating the Day of the Dead or All Saints Day. We will be making preparations to honor on that day all that have gone on before us. Perhaps you will, too.
“Let children walk with Nature, let them see the beautiful blendings and communions of death and life, their joyous inseparable unity, as taught in woods and meadows, plains and mountains and streams of our blessed star, and they will learn that death is stingless indeed, and as beautiful as life. “ ~John Muir
I guess I am reminded of this as we draw near Halloween, also known as Samhain, as well as All Saints Day. Not only that, but the 3rd anniversary of my Mother’s death was last week and each year at this time I am reminded of the day of her passing. I’m also reminded of how we approach death in our family and in probably many other Southern families as a friend of mine recently lost the family dog after 14 blissful years. She said the most difficult part was how to explain death to her elementary school age girls. Like many of the folks in my life, “she ain’t from around here.” Sitting with her during a moment of grief reminds me that even in the United States, our cultural values vary and are what brings us together and what distinguishes us as groups.
I can remember going to funerals from a young age, starting with my Grandfather who was “laid out” in the living room in the late 1970′s. And, like my parents, I took the Sun to his first funeral when he was around the age 3 and we’ve never looked back. In fact, when we lost our beloved dog two years ago, he put on gloves and boots and assisted Nathan in digging the grave in the backyard before the memorial service. It is perhaps one of my proudest memories of him and proudest moments as a parent (which I can assure you are usually wanting).
I think I am glad to be reminded of these things and am making a point of truly celebrating the Day of the Dead or All Saints Day. We will be making preparations to honor on that day all that have gone on before us. Perhaps you will, too.
“Let children walk with Nature, let them see the beautiful blendings and communions of death and life, their joyous inseparable unity, as taught in woods and meadows, plains and mountains and streams of our blessed star, and they will learn that death is stingless indeed, and as beautiful as life. “ ~John Muir
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