It had to happen. Okay, I won’t lie, it’s happened before, but this time it happened on a big scale. I gave in to a screaming child. Actually, screaming is putting it mildly. Screaming, kicking, irrational, absolute hysterics. Unless you have seen my little Moon in a full blown tantrum, you really cannot grasp what this means and very few people have actually been witness to this (and fewer folks believe she is even capable of such behavior – shows what they know).
It began last year. We moved her from a small private school where Goodwill grunge is all the rage, status symbols are hybrids, and parents try to keep their children as young and innocent as possible to public school where maturity among 7-year olds is king (or queen if you prefer). She noticed immediately that there were some differences between herself and her new peers. The two that stood out the most were the lack of earrings and the inability to sleepover with friends. Despite the differences, the year progressed, she made many friends and we made it to first grade without too much stress.
First grade came and was even better than the first with two exceptions – the pesky issues of not being allowed to sleepover and being as of yet unpierced. We stood firm on both. I had great experiences sleeping over once I was in middle school, but due to the differences in parenting and what available for kids to see on both the internet and the television, we are just not budging in this issue. In regards to the piercing, however, I continued to wonder if we should let her go for it. She didn’t know this, of course, but I did. And then my resolve crumbled. No, that’s not true. I changed my mind. Back to the tantrum.
I picked her up from school on Friday and we headed to the other side of town to collect The Sun from school, meet a friend for dinner, grocery shop and run other random errands. Arwyn was tired and hungry and refused my offer of a Vitamin Water, which I keep in the car for children in just such a state. She was wearing shorts and a t-shirt and requested to go home and change, which I denied for several reasons. I was taking a chance and well, I lost. The tantrum set in which quickly devolved into every wrong doing that I have ever committed against her, namely not letting her spend the night with friends and not letting her get her ears pierced. Here we go again. After 45 minutes of sheer hysterics she finally managed to convey a few things to me which is where my mind was changed.
I want to preface the following with letting you know that this child can make her own breakfast (she makes a healthy blueberry smoothie for herself each morning), make her bed, help with the laundry and do many more things that most kids simply cannot or will not do. Here is what she said, “Mommy I know you think I am a little girl, but I’m not. I’m a big girl. I promise to take care of my ears so they won’t get infected. I don’t like being sad or mad. This makes me sad and mad that I cannot get my ears pierced. Mommy, I don’t like being different from the other girls and I just want to be pretty.” Sigh.
I can remember being the youngest child of older parents and often feeling and being different from the other girls. In fact, like The Moon, who was born with a cleft lip and palate with the results being quite visable, I was born with a facial defect and never quite fit in. Life is different now for kids in both good and bad ways and the other children welcomed our girl with open arms, but peer pressure is still and always will be part of growing up. If I can give her any small opportunities to feel special and pretty and the same as the other girls so that her differences are not always emphasized, well, I’m going to.
There are times as parents when we have to stand our ground and there are times when we owe it to our kids to be open to changing our minds. This was one of those times. After a quick consultation with my wonderful hubby who was in full agreement and a lovely dinner of Greek food, we headed to the nearest Clare’s. I now give you The Moon, complete with pierced ears.
“To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. “~Josh Billings
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